Women are accustomed to believing that men are the stronger sex. Partly so. But sometimes they are more vulnerable and touchy. They are only blocks of stone in appearance, but at heart they are little boys who are afraid to hear “no”. But they will have to hear this “no”. And your task is to make sure that they swallow this pill without unnecessary bitterness.

This technique gives great results if you have met an aggressive and assertive man. For them, all veiled words will mean that their actions should be even more assertive. “No” should sound briefly, not in a loud voice, but with metal in the voice. Naturally, without insults, sarcasm or attacks towards the fan. A cold “no” and perhaps in a circle.

A frontal attack sounds clear, convincing and peremptory. You can simply say no without adding anything to it. Maybe with a little explanation.

For example: “No, I can’t come,” “No, I have other plans,” “I don’t have time.” And don’t forget to completely remove flirting, coquetry and affectation. Do not react to provocations and do not be fooled by delaying the conversation. You can listen to complaints and suggestions, but don’t object, don’t ask clarifying questions, just say “no” again.

This is the softest technique for refusing a fan. Your “no” should be followed by “I’m sorry.” For example, “I’m very sorry for giving false hope,” “I’m very sorry, but I already have a boyfriend,” “I’m very sorry, but I’m not that girl.”

The essence of the technique is that the woman must listen carefully to the man, showing her empathy and awkwardness, but in the end she must say “no.”

If your speech is sincere, then the man will understand that a polite refusal does not serve as a signal for a new round of courtship.

This technique is effective with men who are trying to evoke pity. Did they want her? They will get it. Such men tend to woo a woman by playing on her maternal instinct. A fan is able to pretend to be a hungry kitten that has been sitting under her porch for three hours in the rain, and now the woman simply has to take it home, buy it, feed it and warm it up. You don’t owe anyone anything, especially in this situation, you’re just very sorry that he got wet, but when asked to take him with you, answer with a soft “no.”

Lecture

This technique will help you refuse a man you have known for a long time. Suppose this is a childhood friend who looked after you at school, and now, 10 years later, the same fire of feelings has flared up in him. Tell him about yourself. Everything we experienced during this time: about my husband, about my parents, about friends and work.

Tell him in such a way that he himself understands that there is no place for him in your life.

Once is an accident. Two is a coincidence. Three or more is a pattern. This is exactly how this tactic works. You need to derive a pattern that your union is classified as “no”. For example, you are married, live in another city, and your mother will not accept him. It is difficult for a man to fight on three fronts at once. A pattern in the unreality of a relationship with you will become stronger in his subconscious.

And even if he moves to your city, wins your mother’s favor, and your husband moves, because it’s not a wall, then his subconscious will tell him that the other three reasons will immediately arise.

This technique is especially suitable for refusing: a man who is older than you, superior and wealthy.

Delaying time

“Call me in an hour, oh better tomorrow. No, I can't tomorrow. Let's call next week? Sorry, the whole week will be busy. How about in a month? Again, I can't. You know what, call me “never.” Yes, never. Would you mind calling me “never”?” – something like this should sound like a dialogue. And a man must hear and understand him. Reschedule meetings, pull the cat by the tail as much as you can. The man himself will get tired of this uncertainty. And an intelligent man is well aware that this temporary delay is nothing more than a veiled refusal.

This technique is suitable for communicating with assertive fans who do not tolerate objections. But over time, they may simply dry out on their own.

You can't knock on a closed door forever. In addition, they will not receive a straightforward refusal and will not feel knocked out.

Compromise

You can give your fan one slow dance, but during it, explain to the man that your future life will be without him. Give him something you can afford to take away the feeling of emptiness and failure from his heart.

If he says: “I either have everything or nothing,” great. This way you will be freed from the dance, but he made the decision. Moreover, he refused you the dance.

“I can’t, but my friend will accept your offer with pleasure.” A little pimping, replacing the lead singer, and it's done. Perhaps you can truly arrange the personal life of a lonely friend with an excellent male specimen.

When refusing a man, no matter how you decide, remove all feminine things from your arsenal. Don't provoke him. Men tend to hunt and conquer. Don't lure him into your traps if you really want him to get away from you. Any of your coquetry will keep him on a leash. If you use all the feminine charisma, it means that you need this admirer and the topic of refusal is not before you.

Representatives of the stronger sex, despite their masculinity and strength, are vulnerable and sensitive. It’s not difficult to hurt someone’s pride and deeply hurt them. And such situations occur all the time. It is important to do this femininely and carefully. Then from an opponent who has to say a firm “no”, the guy will turn into a friend and ally. Politely refusing a man without hurting him is one of the virtues of a wise and understanding woman.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW! Fortune teller Baba Nina:“There will always be plenty of money if you put it under your pillow...” Read more >>

• Show all

  How to learn to say “no”

  Expressing refusal in a delicate manner is a valuable quality, but it is rare. Sensitive, vulnerable people believe that refusing means hurting, offending, pushing away. In gender relations, the topic of refusal is painful, but you will have to learn this life lesson. You have to say “no” for various reasons. It is important to learn how to do this painlessly and as tactfully as possible.

  A girl may not respond to a man’s advances if she doesn’t want to. The problem is created by the persistence and stubbornness of gentlemen who are not ready or do not want to accept refusal.

  Valuable advice from psychologists is the following: do not leave the situation uncontrolled and do not let it take its course, so that you do not have to sort things out in a difficult, tense situation.

  In order to stop unwanted advances as soon as they appear, you should explain yourself delicately and politely, following a few simple rules.

  

  Kindness and tact

  Most men are willing to accept the answer, listen and change behavior. There are representatives of the stronger half who are unable to accept refusal adequately. Passionate sympathy gives way to aggression, politeness is forgotten. At the forefront are wounded pride and wounded pride. The sooner an explanation occurs with a sympathetic, persistent and expressive boyfriend, the greater the chances of resolving the situation peacefully and avoiding such attacks.

  

  Hardness

  The girl accepts advances and agrees to meet out of pity and fear of causing offense. The gentleman receives hope for a continuation. But the moment of explanation is inevitable. Then it will be more difficult for both parties to express a refusal and accept it.

  Honesty

  If a lady has received an invitation to a date, she needs to politely tell her point of view in specific phrases and explain the impossibility of further development of the relationship. You shouldn’t hide behind phrases like: “Not today,” “Next week,” “I’ll think about it.” They unnecessarily aggravate the situation and only delay the key moment.

  Rejection reason

  This will be a show of respect for the man and will make the situation understandable and acceptable to him. You can choose any reason, even if it does not exactly coincide with reality: “I have a boyfriend,” “I’m not ready for a new relationship,” etc. It is important to explain yourself correctly, kindly, without showing antipathy, irritation, or disdain, so as not to injure the lover guy. You can express your refusal without offending him if you turn the explanation into a joke. Reasonable partners in such a situation strive to protect each other from stress.

  Situations when you have to refuse

  Undesirableacquaintance

  Attractive girls often meet people who want to meet on the street, in public transport or in cafes. Gently expressing a refusal to a stranger is much easier than it seems at first glance. In such a situation, you can politely refer to your own busyness, rush, come up with a short, informative answer, voice your refusal to meet and communicate, using a respectful form.

  How not to go todate

  If a girl and a guy barely know each other, it’s easy to rule out further courtship. The reasons can be very different. You need to choose the one that is suitable in a particular situation in order to protect yourself from repeated attempts at rapprochement.

  If a sympathetic young man has known a girl for a long time, he knows the details of her personal life - whether she is single or in a couple, then referring to “his boyfriend” will not work. Under such circumstances, there are two solutions, depending on the desires of the girl herself: a firm “no” - refusal of a date, or time to think.

  Reasons for refusal may be:

  • busy at work or study;
  • due to family circumstances;
  • no opportunity to go on dates;
  • there is no desire to start any romantic relationships.

  Details are optional. The explanation must be built in a relaxed atmosphere, praise the interlocutor, note the merits and attractive character traits. If a girl doesn’t see the point in transforming the relationship and transferring it to another area, she needs to say this politely and directly.

  Explain in person

  Before a meeting with a guy, at which you plan to voice the reason for the refusal, you should think through the arguments in advance. If a person is an old acquaintance, soft lies will not work to soften the sharp edges. The reason should be given as respectful and serious.

  When a girl is attracted to someone else, you should not motivate the refusal by a general reluctance to date someone, so as not to be caught in deception. Sympathy for another person is a real argument that will not cause offense, will not hurt pride, and will not give the outcast an inferiority complex. If a man simply does not evoke sympathy, you can give any reason for refusal, but do it delicately, gently, in a friendly tone.

  Don't go for a walk together

  Refusal to go for a walk together can be motivated by anything. After all, the guy does not make personal offers, which makes the process of explanation easier. Assuming that an invitation to go out together will be followed by hints of a relationship, it is easier for a girl to protect herself from an unwanted admirer in advance.

  The reasons may be simple everyday arguments:

  • No time. The “busy” argument is a good helper for making any excuses. Urgent matters can be related to promises to a friend, household chores, a trip to relatives, or a new project at work.
  • Feeling unwell, tired. A fan invites her to go for a walk, but the girl is tired from the day's worries and stress. A harmless but significant argument. If the invitations are repeated, and the reasons for refusal are of the same type, the guy will understand that these are just excuses.

  Reject an offer to date

  An offer to date from a man is not just an outing for a romantic date without obligations, but a desire to build a serious relationship with a girl. Statements of this nature are important for a man. They mean that he previously thought, weighed and assessed his feelings for the girl, the situation, and the chances of success. A frivolous “no”, a joke, and especially ridicule are inappropriate methods for refusing an offer to date this man.

  It’s worth explaining in private, making it clear that the girl deeply respects the man and thanks him for preferring her to other women. In the conversation, it should be delicately but firmly made clear that a refusal to a proposal for a relationship is just that. This is not feminine coquetry or a desire to “increase your value.” The explanation excludes aggression, irritation, arrogance and any offensive intonation or phrase.

  Showing genuine respect for a man in gratitude for such a serious proposal, you should tell the truth, be soft, delicate, but honest. If the young man adequately accepts the explanation, he will become the girl’s friend for a long time.

  Not ready for intimacy

  An offer of sex without intimacy is well worth refusing and is not worth worrying about. The reasons could be anything. The most popular of them: sex is possible only in a relationship, with a boyfriend or fiance. It is more difficult to resolve the issue for a girl who is in a relationship but is not ready for sex.

  Reasons for refusal may include:

  • Short term relationship. It is not easy for girls to decide to have a sexual relationship immediately after the first few meetings. The argument for refusal of intimacy is the need to get used to it, to realize the seriousness of the relationship. If desired, you can indicate the approximate period required for adaptation. If the relationship with the girl is important, the guy will not insist and constantly remind him of the deadline.
  • Virginity. For girls who have no sexual experience, such behavior is natural. It takes time to decide to take this step. If a couple has a trusting relationship, you should talk about it honestly.
  • At a wrong time. A persistent proposal for intimacy comes from a guy in a suitable environment, when the couple is alone. The reason for the girl’s refusal is lack of mood, fatigue or malaise, problems at work. The girl explains that because of her mood, the evening will lose its romantic mood, and she wouldn’t want that.

  Refusal tactics

  Natural female softness is an obstacle to a serious explanation between partners and undesirably delays time. And you shouldn’t hesitate in such situations. Guidelines for when you have to say “no”:

  • if the question is urgent, it is necessary to begin an explanation without delay;
  • express thoughts in a serious manner, without coquetry, without giving rise to any false hopes;
  • do not use sharp attacks, offensive phrases, with irritation and hostility;
  • refusal to argue in a soft, polite form, softened with a promise of friendly communication.

  Psychologists advise promising to maintain friendly relations only if the man reacts adequately to refusal and deserves favorable treatment. Intrusive and stubborn fans should not be reassured even by assurances of friendly communication, but insist on a complete refusal of any type of communication with the persistent gentleman.

  Types of men and how to say no to them

  Representatives of the stronger half caring for a woman are conventionally divided into several categories according to their style of behavior:

  • stranger experiencing sympathy;
  • familiar with active interest;
  • a friend and friend who suddenly felt passion;
  • a former admirer eager to restore the relationship.

  Having understood what is happening with a man’s feelings, you can build the right tactics for painless communication and correctly motivate the refusal.

  Type No. 1. Annoying stranger

  Sometimes the inaccessibility and coldness of a lady only warms up the passion of a man, stimulating him to conquer. The lack of reaction to courtship spurs interest and only intensifies efforts to get to know each other better.

  A persistent stranger should announce his status, marriage, even if it is fictitious. Try to say directly without details that there is no opportunity for communication.

  Simple phrases to help:

  • “Excuse me, I’m very tired, I’m rushing home”;
  • “My husband is meeting me, he will not approve of your presence”;
  • “I’m in a hurry to pick up my children from school (kindergarten).”

  If the boyfriend is so stubborn that none of the phrases have any effect, you can go on the offensive:

  • “What a joy - at least someone asked me on a date! When will we get married? What should we name our children? I would like five, no less, and you?! »
  • "Do you like me? Well, the sex change operation was successful. I am an ex-man, my name is.... Do you want to get to know each other better? »

  Type No. 2. Familiar with hints of sympathy

  If your relationship with this person is valuable as a business, work, or friendly relationship, you should decide to have a frank conversation in a relaxed atmosphere. Explain that his sympathies are appreciated, but the development of relations in this direction is not possible.

  Phrases like:

  • “I am very pleased with your special attitude, but I am not free because I am dating someone else. Let's remain friends";
  • “I have no desire to build a serious relationship with anyone, I value you as a friend, I propose to leave everything unchanged.”

  Type No. 3. Friend with feelings

  The friendship between a man and a woman develops into affection and the emergence of a romantic feeling on one of the parties. If long-term friendships have turned into trust, the ideal solution would be a sincere conversation in private. The girl gently and understandingly explains to the guy that she wants to preserve, and not ruin, wonderful friendships.

  The following phrases will help:

  • “I need you as a friend, we have known each other for so long, let’s maintain our friendship”;
  • “It’s easy for me to be with you, you are a wonderful person and friend, but I’m not ready for a more serious relationship.”

  A friend in love, who is attached to a girl and dreams of winning her love, does not always tolerate rejection easily. He needs time to rethink the situation.

  Type No. 4. Former lover

  When a man realizes the value of a girl, only after breaking up with her, he begins to try to restore the connection. If a woman has had a bad breakup, it is difficult to get close to the man who hurt her again. Romantic relationships become impossible.

  To stop repeated attempts at courtship, the woman limits herself to talking on the phone, a short SMS, and saying that their relationship is far in the past. When the ex-boyfriend who remembered the feelings is a married man in the present, any refusal of the woman will be fair without explanation.

  During a personal meeting, if necessary, you need to express yourself honestly, calmly, without reproaches or reminders of old grievances. The emotional background of the conversation will be more eloquent than words, when a man sees that his former lover has no feelings left for him except indifference.

  How you can't refuse a man

  An incorrectly expressed and incorrectly interpreted phrase leads to a diametrically opposite result. If a woman leaves or rejects advances, and the young man does not want to let her go, you should behave thoughtfully. During a decisive conversation, do not make mistakes, so as not to regret your behavior and the phrases spoken.

  No compelling arguments

  A delicate conversation about feelings should take place in a serious manner, without flirting, jokes or hints. Afraid of causing offense, women avoid specific phrases, trying to choose softer words, without calling a spade a spade. Half-hints and streamlined phrases can lead to the opposite effect. If a girl finds it difficult to find words, you can prepare by looking for preparations in advance. As a last resort, write a letter or message expressing your thoughts in understandable phrases.

  Focus on weaknesses

  Refusal for a man is a significant blow to his pride. During a conversation, it will be unnecessary to reproach the guy for his shortcomings, thereby justifying the refusal, aggravating the situation. Correctly voice the real reason for the refusal in the most delicate form. Any man in his right mind is fully aware of personal shortcomings.

  A pity

  For an adequate man, pity in the eyes of his beloved is not what one would like to see. By feeling sorry for the admirer, the woman will hurt him more. This is a common mistake of girls who do not know how to properly refuse advances. It is important not to forget that hurt male pride is a strong enemy that should be avoided.

  How to soften your explanation and protect yourself from conflicts

  Preparing for an important explanation with a guy and a few important rules will help a girl adequately resolve the situation with unwanted advances.

  Words spoken with conviction. An explanation with a man must be carried out competently, beautifully, using understandable words spoken with one hundred percent conviction. Often men do not take a girl’s refusal seriously because it is not convincing enough.

  The basis of what has been said is not the essence of the words, but the presentation, intonation, and emotional background. The interlocutor captures 85% of the information not through form, but through non-verbal symbols: the sound of the voice, intonation, gestures. If during a conversation a girl uses feminine tricks: touching her curls, shaking her foot in a shoe, exposing her neck or wrists, the man will perceive the communication in the opposite way. The girl’s refusal is interpreted as “Yes, but not now.”

  A serious mistake is to accompany the explanation with touches, friendly and completely harmless hugs, and kisses. Psychologists claim that this is an invasion of a man’s intimate area. Before starting a conversation, you need to establish a distance and move away from the guy at a distance of at least half a meter. IN otherwise the man will take the refusal as the beginning of a new game, and will not leave the girl alone.

  Don't promise something that doesn't exist. During a conversation, cross out the following phrases from your vocabulary:

  • “I’m not ready for a relationship”;
  • "Not now";
  • “Let's not rush things”;
  • "I will think".

  Such phrases will only increase his excitement and desire to continue the game of conquest. If a girl thinks that it’s difficult to say “no,” you need to remember the moment when you still have to explain yourself. A softening lie is the worst technique in such a situation. You should strike a polite, sensitive tone, but remain firm and confident in your decision in order to convey the truth to your interlocutor.

  The real reason. In order to refuse a man and not spoil the relationship, you need to name a specific reason for the refusal. She must be:

  • serious (respectful);
  • plausible (not in the form of flimsy excuses);
  • neutral (do not offend his personal qualities).

  Psychologists believe that it is polite to refuse a man without offending him - to start the conversation with praise and a compliment. Do it without falsehood, praise sincerely. Note his determination, athleticism, determination, talents - everything that relates to the manifestation of masculinity.

How to refuse a guy's offer to date? Of course, you can say that you don't like him, directly. But such a refusal can hurt a young man, offend him, and lower his self-esteem. Wise women know how to refuse gracefully and politely, while maintaining good relationships.

Let's look at how to properly refuse a guy a date, and give universal phrases that will help build a dialogue without mutual offense.

Unfortunately, there are guys who don’t get it the first time, stubborn and stubborn. You need to act decisively with such people. Source: Flickr (Florian_Seelmann)

Why do you have to refuse? Reasons for non-reciprocity

Before we talk about how to refuse to date a guy, let's look at why mutual feelings sometimes don't arise. The reasons may be as follows:

• You already have a boyfriend or husband. Everything is clear here - you love your chosen one and are not going to change him for another admirer.
• You don't like the guy who's proposing a relationship. It is difficult to build love without reciprocity. You can take a closer look at the candidate for life partner, but if no emotions arise towards him, it is better to refuse and not waste either your time or his.
• The guy behaves unworthily - he can easily be rude and rude. A relationship with such a “macho” is out of the question.
• All his feelings are only in words. He promises mountains of gold, but in reality he only talks. You would like actions, without them you are not ready to date.
• You suspect that he is only offering to date him to get you into bed faster.

Any of these situations is a sufficient reason to refuse.

Important! You should not think that by refusing, you are offending or hurting the person. On the contrary, you save his time, which he can spend searching for mutual love. And you save yourself from obsessive advances.

There is a universal way to refuse to date a guy. The phrases you pronounce follow the same pattern. It is called “Compliment - Program - Compliment”. This is an ideal way to refuse politely, so as not to offend your interlocutor and maintain good relations.

1. Start with a compliment: “You are very nice, I enjoy spending time with you.”
2. Then voice the unpleasant (program): “But I’m not in love with you/I have a boyfriend/I doubt your sincerity.”
3. And end with a compliment: “I’m sure such a well-mannered and intelligent man like you will understand me and will not insist.”

If the guy is adequate, he will understand the first time and hear the necessary information. If he really needs you and is not in a relationship, he will make attempts to win your heart by proving his feelings with actions (applies to the “I doubt your sincerity” option).

Note! The PDA scheme works with normal, decent men. On manipulative, highly primative guys (used to getting everything by force, lacking intelligence and doesn’t understand the word “no”), this method does not work, alas.

How to refuse if he doesn’t understand?

How to refuse a man's offer to date if the previous method did not help? Unfortunately, there are guys who don’t get it the first time, stubborn and stubborn. You need to act decisively with such people - block them in social networks, blacklist your phone, avoid any contact. It’s great if you have a husband, boyfriend, brother or friend who can talk like a man to an obsessive admirer and firmly explain that he shouldn’t approach you.

Important! Tough male talk is a last resort. First, try to politely refuse yourself - in most cases it works.

• How to refuse if he does not take your words seriously?

Most guys will accept a correct refusal as long as you explain the reason. Don't be afraid to speak directly - it's better for both.

A person by nature is inclined to look for a soul mate similar to himself: the same principles, understanding, outlook on life and other principles become the criterion for selecting a partner.

Rarely do girls manage to meet that one guy, although other male representatives constantly offer to meet.

In this situation, a difficulty arises: how to politely refuse a meeting with a man so that he remains calm.

To refuse a guy gracefully without offending him, we offer some effective and simple tips.

The need to refuse a guy’s offer to date arises quite often.

Girls may not like the young man’s behavior style, his rudeness, excessive pathos, rudeness and assertiveness.

Former boyfriends can also often pursue girls who have decided to start a new life.

To correctly refuse a meeting, date or relationship, pay attention to proven phrases:

1. After thinking for a long time, I realized: you are not ready for a serious relationship. I only accept serious connections, so we should wait - the option will turn the guy’s actions in the right direction.

   He will suddenly change his behavior, so the girl should be more assertive in refusing.

2. Now there are difficulties in my life, so I’m not in the mood to communicate with guys, sorry - this method will help to tactfully get away from a relationship that has not yet begun.
3. Sorry, but I don’t want to hastily start a relationship with a person, I need to think carefully - the guy will offer to wait, so the young lady needs to politely turn him off.
4. I don’t meet guys on the street, my mother taught me good manners - it’s appropriate to respectfully refuse a guy who asks for a phone number.

Many girls, having refused, continue to make mistakes. Psychologists insist that after refusal the lady changes her behavior: it must coincide with what was said the day before.

For example, trying to seek communication after a refusal, flirting with a man - all this characterizes a girl from a negative side.

You should refrain from insults - this is too low for the behavior of a decent girl.

How to correctly refuse intimacy and sex without offending a guy

The difficulty for polite young ladies is how to refuse intimacy and sex to a man without offending him.

It happens that the first time is still a long way off, although the man persistently suggests moving to the next step.

Then you should show delicacy and gently refuse the offer: simple advice from psychologists will help smooth out the guy’s offense.

Note! Denial of sex is needed not only when a relationship begins. It is needed in a married couple when the woman is tired, but does not want to offend her husband.

Let's consider popular ways to deny sex to representatives of the stronger sex without affecting his feelings and maintaining love:

How to maintain friendships and continue communication

Refusal is always accompanied by unpleasant experiences and negative consequences.

Every woman can prevent them by choosing the right strategy of behavior.

Effective advice from psychoanalysts will help maintain friendship and continue communication correctly:

1. Support. A close friend who has been rejected is probably depressed. Despite this, it is necessary to constantly encourage the man.

   If you specifically look for a meeting, trying to console a friend, he will think that the girl has feelings for him.

   It is enough to accept the young man’s communication and continue to maintain friendly ties.

2. Mutual acquaintances. Most cases indicate that after a refusal, a guy and a girl still have mutual acquaintances and friends.

   Meet in common companies, have fun, communicate. Then you shouldn’t cross the line and behave as if the refusal was not sincere.

3. Keep your distance. From the moment when the girl beautifully refused the young man, it is worth paying attention to the behavior.

   Inform the man that from now on communication will become friendly.

4. Abstract yourself. Move on, because there are still many new acquaintances ahead.
5. Tact. Only adequate communication will help maintain friendly ties with a man. Self-analysis and digging into yourself are unnecessary here - accept everything as it is and move on.
6. Lack of flirting. Refuse to flirt towards the young man, and if you notice that he himself wants to flirt, move away.
7. Lack of personal information. From now on, you should not devote a man to your personal experiences and adversities. This will give him extra hope.

For a young man to be offended, it is enough to completely stop communicating with him. The approach promises trouble, but if it is the only way out, use it.