How to respond to a person who is smart. How to respond appropriately to bullying

Most people who are faced with insults in their direction feel confused in the first seconds, not knowing how to respond to such aggressive attacks. However, if you happen to find yourself in a similar situation again, try to get your bearings right away and remember some recommendations.

How to behave when you are insulted

Do not respond to negativity and insults

Sometimes in such situations, it is the absence of any reaction that may be the best way out of the situation. It is possible that later you will begin to reproach yourself for this silence and timidity, but most often later people are proud that they managed to restrain themselves and not sink to the level of a tactless and aggressive person who tried to “hook” out of it.

This is especially true if we are talking about an energy vampire - such a person is only waiting for a response from you, it only “feeds” him. Communication with such a person always ends the same way - you feel overwhelmed, and your opponent's mood clearly rises.

Whether to respond with aggression in a conflict

This is not the best option, and it is applicable only in exceptional cases.

So, when is aggression in response appropriate:

• If an opponent uses any physical force against your child or animal.
• If the opponent has long lost control of himself and has been trying to piss you off for a long time and prick you more painfully.
• If the opponent goes beyond what is permitted and tries to offend a weaker and more unprotected person with you. An example is a drunk boor who is rude on a bus to an unfamiliar child.

Change the situation in a positive direction (laugh)

Perhaps you have a quarrel with a really close person, and you do not want to continue this ugly scene, realizing that such a development of events will only harm your relationship. In this case, it makes sense to pull yourself together and take the conflict in a completely different direction with the help of a joke. If the person is really close, then you know what topic will be able to provoke a smile on his face.

Of course, this is not so easy to do when resentment strangles oneself, and one wants to give a worthy rebuff to the interlocutor. However, it is important to understand that in this way you act the most wisely - do not allow yourself to be completely disappointed in a loved one, and he - in you. When the heat of passion subsides, offer to return to the topic that quarreled you in order to calmly resolve the dilemma that has arisen.

Try to shame the offender into silence

Sometimes, a person can forget and behave completely tactlessly. If you know that this behavior is usually not characteristic of him, then, of course, it makes sense to shame him. Most likely, the opponent will immediately realize that he is crossing the line of decency.

Also, this method is effective in communicating with children. Almost all of them go through a turning point at various stages of their development, and aggression in response to their offensive tone can only hurt. In such cases, it will indeed be better to induce a sense of shame for your words.

Use smart words and logical arguments to prove your case

Such response options can help you reason with the offender, and redirect his energy from a stream of insults to a constructive dialogue. If a person is lying, then just ask him: “Why are you behaving like that?”. In response, for sure, you will hear more intelligible information than before. If necessary, this question can be repeated several times.

Also, if you notice that the interlocutor is clearly “carried away”, and he is already confused in his thoughts, ask him to argue his words.

Use witty, cheeky and funny phrases when you are rude

The saddest thing is that for some reason most boors are not very receptive to humor, and your witty and funny answers, most likely, will seem simply ridiculous to such a person. However, you can try to laugh it off, especially if your skirmish has formed an audience.

So, in response to an insult, you can answer:

• "You're not too original, next time maybe better."
• "You are very considerate, a valuable quality."
• “Weak attempt, maybe rudeness is still not yours?”
• "Hope you're just trying to look worse than you really are."

To shut up and humiliate the enemy is to learn sarcasm

It is quite difficult to neutralize a particularly aggressive interlocutor with phrases prepared in advance, therefore, in such cases, the ability to respond with sarcasm is very much appreciated. For example, if an opponent asks with a challenge: “What did you say ?!”, you can retort: ​​“Yes, you also have problems with hearing ...”. Or if you are asked: “The smartest, or what?”, You can answer: “You are surprisingly observant!”.

How to respond to insulting words if you don’t get it in a good way

When can force be used?

The use of force, of course, is appropriate only in rather rare cases, one might even say exceptional ones. First of all, this is necessary when you are threatened with physical violence. Of course, if the opponent not only threatens, but also begins to put his threats into action, then in such a situation it is all the more impossible to offend yourself.

You can also use force when you see physical suffering being inflicted on a weaker being. So you can intercede for an animal, a child, an elderly person or a woman. Of course, in this situation it would be unwise to get into trouble if you see that the rude man is clearly superior to you in physical parameters. However, it would be right to ask someone else for help or scare the boor with the police.

Whether to use harsh swear words and expressions

In very rare cases, this is really appropriate. As a rule, a cultured person who considers himself a worthy member of society prefers to ignore the mat, not wanting to stoop to the level of his opponent. Once, Mikhail Zadornov recommended to his listeners not to enter into a dialogue with a person who pours insults, arguing that this is as stupid as barking in response to a barking dog.

Is it possible to culturally send a person without a mat to shut up

To some extent, it is possible, although not without difficulty. For example, if a person begins to forget, and you understand that he is clearly getting into his own business, you can notice: “It seems to me, or does this really concern you?”.

In addition, they will cool the ardor of the interlocutor, and such phrases:

• “Your opinion is very valuable, but not in this situation”;
• "If I need your advice, I will look for you";
• "What makes you think that I'm interested in your opinion?"

How to insult in response if you just got

For rudeness, you can humiliatingly call offensive words

Of course, offensive and humiliating insults should be used only in very rare cases - when the opponent does not know the measure in his statements, and pours out an uncontrolled stream of "dirty" words. If you have enough willpower, then in such cases, it is best to ignore the person who is showing aggression - to pretend that his words are empty words for you.

When the interlocutor expresses or shouts everything he thinks, you can summarize tiredly: “You are very tiring, is that why you have problems in your personal life?”. Note that such a phrase sounds very caustic and offensive, so it should be used in the case of a notorious villain. Even if he is married, such words will hurt him, because such a brawler, most likely, is really not doing well on the personal front.

Aggressive boor with overweight, you can say: "It would be better to join the gym!". We emphasize that it is better to avoid barbs about appearance as much as possible - such comments usually humiliate not only your enemy, but also you. However, if you know that some aspect of appearance is a sore subject for the interlocutor, and he himself has already completely “riden” your appearance, then you can “give back” with such phrases.

Troll verbally and put in place

Many people are seriously affected by various "prophecies" and curses. If your enemy is behaving ugly, insulting you, having long gone beyond all the limits of what is permitted, then calmly say: “From this day on, you will know what misfortunes are lying on you for.” Many people are suspicious, especially if they are emotionally unstable. Most likely, your phrase will haunt your interlocutor for a long time, and he will really begin to regret his own intemperance.

Answers for all occasions

A few examples of cool phrases that will bring you to tears (examples)

If you set out to bring the person who offended you to tears, then there are phrases that contribute to such a development of events.

So here are some examples of them:

• I don't know what you're trying to prove, your primitive mind doesn't allow you to speak more clearly?
• Your insults are so stupid that I'm not even offended. Probably, many are accustomed to experiencing only a feeling of pity for you;
• I can imagine how ashamed your relatives are for you;
• So you are not only outwardly "not very".

Of course, before trying to offend a person to tears, it makes sense to think about whether it is necessary to do this at all. It is possible that over time you yourself will regret that you took such a step. As a rule, conscientious people are subsequently ashamed of such behavior and intemperance.

Cool insults for humiliation (examples)

• Do you always have such a poor imagination or is today a bad day?
• Perhaps your parents simply dreamed that you would one day run away from home.
• Do not stop talking, maybe you will get to clever phrases.
• It must be hard for you to love nature, considering what she did to you.
• If you tried to look even dumber, I'm afraid that attempt would fail.

Afterword

This can be very difficult, but remember that later you will have a reason to rejoice at your prudence and foresight. First of all, it is important to realize that you do not need to take seriously what your opponent says to you. Most often, when insulting someone, a person rarely resorts to logic and sound facts, because his only goal is to “hurt” as painfully as possible!

It is also important to clearly distribute - a person is only dissatisfied with you, or he just has a joyless period, and you just “caught on hand”. If we are talking about the second option, then it is better to avoid the manifestation of any emotions. Mentally pity the offender, and abstract from this situation.

Ignoring is a very useful skill in many unpleasant situations. It is important to understand that insults, as a rule, are resorted to by a weak-minded person who has serious problems in education. Especially, this understanding is appropriate when it comes to a person whom you are unlikely to see again. Think carefully - is it worth it to inflame your energy on him or is it better to ignore this pathetic boor? Of course, some people believe that such behavior is only to their advantage, and they begin to get even more inflamed in their insults, then carefully look at the interlocutor and say: “By what right do you allow yourself such behavior towards strangers, you yourself understand How unworthy do you look? Such a question may well "sober up" the opponent.

Of course, if the conflict is unleashed by a person close to you, then ignoring is not always the right response. It is unlikely that the interlocutor just wanted to insult you from scratch. Most likely, this person is seriously worried about something, and it would be appropriate to talk about it directly. Just say: "Let's stop these vile insults, and try to solve the problem." Most likely, after that you will really be able to close the conflict, and your interlocutor will be grateful to you for your prudence.

Being motivated by reason, not emotions, you will always be a winner.

If you started to wonder how insulting it is to answer a person with obscenities or how to bring someone to tears with your insults, then you are clearly not on the right track. Be reasonable, do not succumb to someone else's emotional impact. If you yourself sink into such unworthy behavior, it can bring you a sense of satisfaction for just a few seconds - then the situation will not be so rosy.

Most likely, having resorted to rudeness towards another person (especially if he is close), then you will feel empty and depressed. As a rule, various verbal skirmishes bring satisfaction only to energy vampires - it is difficult to please other people with a conflict situation.

Remember that people who have learned to control themselves, as a rule, always remain in a winning position. At the same time, those persons who are easily turned on “from a half turn”, thereby attract additional negative events and emotions to themselves.

Not giving in to emotions is very useful in many cases, and one of them is a quarrel with a higher management at work or just with a person on whom you depend. Be aware that the person is feeling frustrated, and your counter parries can make matters worse. To avoid such a development of the situation, it makes sense to mentally distract from the conversation. That is, outwardly you seem to be listening to everything that your opponent says to you, but in fact your thoughts are wandering somewhere far away. You can remember pleasant events from life, think about the upcoming vacation, decide what dish would be appropriate to cook for dinner.

Think ahead about the consequences of your actions

If you understand that you partly provoked a stream of insults yourself, although you did not deserve such unflattering words, then you should partially admit your guilt. For example: "Of course, you are right in your indignation, but words can be chosen softer."

When engaging in a verbal skirmish with someone, remember that in the future this may turn into some problems for you. It's one thing when it comes to a person who is unlikely to meet on your life path, and quite another thing when a skirmish happened with a loved one, friend, neighbor. Such a conflict can lead to a protracted war. Even if you make peace almost immediately, the insulting words voiced can remain in your memory for a long time, and sooner or later they will still lead to a cooling in the relationship. Therefore, in such cases, if you feel even the slightest ability to restrain yourself, be sure to try to use it.

Any of us sometimes has to deal with human rudeness and listen to offensive words and expressions addressed to us. Someone has a tense situation at home, while someone is very unlucky with work, where a scandalous atmosphere prevails, ready at any moment to explode with a stream of abuse and insults. So how to respond to rudeness and rudeness?

Why is it necessary to respond to rudeness, and not be silent?

Psychologists have established that every aggressive trick from the outside gives rise to auto-aggression in a normal person, which eventually results in a depressive mood, decreased performance, low self-esteem, etc. Such a reaction of the body does not bring anything good with it, and, therefore, it is necessary to learn effective protection against manifestations of alien aggression and the correct reaction to it.

Reasons for rude behavior

One of the most common reasons for rude attacks on a person is his underdeveloped. Such people are much more likely to become victims of rudeness than strong and self-confident individuals. Boars and rude people have a fairly well-developed instinct and will never mess with someone who can give them a decent answer.

If in front of them is a person from a different category, then why not amuse yourself and say something rude to him. Most often, the following types of people fall into the number of offended:

• highly cultured and brought up in the old traditions;
• having low self-esteem;
• trying to avoid conflict situations;
• with a high sense of guilt;
• afraid of hurting and offending other people.

In this situation, the reaction to rudeness can be different, but you should first work on your own so as not to be a constant victim of poorly educated citizens. The acquisition of inner strength will forever relieve third-party aggression, because a strong person cannot be an object of attack.

Unfortunately, we are not always able to orient ourselves in time and respond correctly in situations where someone offends us. Subsequently, we are upset not only because of the very fact of other people's insults, but also because we failed to give a proper rebuff. In many cases, you can avoid these frustrations.

Many people make the mistake of clearly showing the interlocutor that his words hurt them in some way. Of course, when we are insulted, it is not easy to control ourselves and not show that we are offended and “touched to the quick”. And yet, if you do not cope with this task, then the opponent will understand that he managed to achieve the goal and offend you for real. No matter how difficult it is for you, try to make it clear to the person that his words do not bother you at all. The best way to help you with this is humor, which often helps you respond quickly in unforeseen situations.

If you stock up on a few witty phrases, then, for sure, later they will be able to help you out at the right time.

Examples of such remarks:

• Your words don't surprise me at all. I would be surprised if you said something really smart.
• And nature really has a great sense of humor, since she creates specimens like you!

How to respond to insults and aggression

How to behave when you are insulted

Situations can be different, so it is advisable to adjust your behavior in accordance with them.

• For example, if you yourself offended a person, and you understand that all his insults are just hurt pride and an attempt to avenge the offense, then it is better to remain silent. Probably, the interlocutor is in agony, and with additional remarks you will aggravate the situation even more.
• If they began to offend you undeservedly or even “for no reason at all”, then, probably, the opponent wants to “let off steam”, and it is quite possible that you just fell under a hot hand. Of course, in this situation you should not be a "punching bag" - put the offender in his place!
• If you are offended by a person who is clearly in an inadequate state, then it is better not to have anything to do with him and not get involved in a dialogue. We are talking about a person in hysterics or under the influence of alcohol or drugs. You will not be able to prove anything to such an interlocutor, and it is even quite likely that with your answers (any!) You will provoke him to a new flow of aggression or even the use of physical force. It is better to avoid communicating with such people, even if you surpass them in physical parameters - you should not get involved in a skirmish that is unlikely to end in something good.

Undoubtedly, such a situation is offensive to any person, and sometimes we do not know how to respond to insults. There are times when it is better not to get involved in a conflict and simply ignore unpleasant remarks - for example, at the moment when they are spoken by a drunk or completely out of control person. Another thing is when the interlocutor approaches this consciously. So, with what sharp words can you answer the words of a rude man?

• Your fantasy and mind are so primitive that these insults do not offend me at all.
• It's amazing how easy it is for you to offend someone. Fate will do the same to you, you'll see.

In general, it is worth noting that most often boors specifically try to provoke us into any kind of reaction. Often we notice that someone else's rudeness can completely arise from a completely empty place, or the reason is so insignificant that an adequate person would not pay attention to it at all. Just boors can not deprive themselves of the opportunity to offend someone.

Most often, in such cases, we are advised to ignore the attacks of the ill-wisher, and such recommendations are instilled in us from childhood. And yet, such advice, as a rule, has practically no effectiveness - in practice, it often turns out that a person who has escaped punishment for his sabotage becomes even more impudent. If the boor is constantly ignored, then subsequently he is affirmed in the thought that everything is permitted to him. Therefore, it is important to remember that in no case should we disregard the insults that sellers, administrators, cashiers and other random interlocutors “gift” us during their working hours. The most adequate reaction to such behavior is an appeal to the authorities, whose task is to competently select personnel.

How to adequately respond to rudeness and rudeness

You can very well get out of this situation elegantly if you calmly agree with the boor. This technique has a particularly disarming effect on some people. So, if someone is trying to insult your mental abilities or "ride" in appearance, then half agree with these words, and then thank your opponent for taking the time to find your shortcomings. This method has a very high efficiency when there are spectators present during its implementation. You will not offend the boor in response, but at the same time put him in an awkward position.

Many people are distinguished by increased suspiciousness, and if such an instance met on your way, then, of course, you can scare him with the inevitable retribution “from above”. After the phrases below, the offender will remember the dialogue with you for a long time.

• There is no desire to respond to these insults. However, the day will come when you will understand that all misfortunes have been acquired by you, starting from this day.
• It has already happened that we pay for everything in this life. Remember this day to know why God is punishing you.
• From now on, you are in for a lot of bad luck. I'm not scaring you, I just know about it.

How to intelligently send a person without a mat

If you do not want to swear in response to other people's unpleasant statements, but still think that you must fight back, then it is quite possible to answer intelligently, but still put the person in his place.

• They say that a person usually hides his complexes and insolvency behind insults. Think about it.
• It feels like an insult is the only way you can assert yourself.

How to shut up a person with one beautiful phrase

Sometimes there is no desire to enter into a verbal skirmish, and you want to shut up a person by uttering only one annihilating remark. There are many such phrases, and they act differently on everyone. Here's an example:

• They say that when a person is not particularly brilliant with his mind, the only thing left for him is to stoop to insults.

When insulting the boss

In this case, unfortunately, we do not always have the opportunity to answer the way we want, therefore, it would be most reasonable to simply avoid the conflict. If we are talking not about the authorities, but about a colleague, then there is no need to escalate the situation either - try to answer neutrally.

This technique can also be useful at the moment when the boss offends you: at the time when the boss says unpleasant things to you, mentally imagine a small, capricious child in his place. In your imagination, soothe this baby, stroke him on the head, feed him milk porridge. So it will be much easier for you to listen to insults, and perhaps even your mood will not worsen at all. In addition, the boss, for sure, will be able to assess your stamina.

Buy an Elephant Method

Many people remember a joke from childhood, when the opponent was offered to “buy an elephant”, thereby infuriating him and almost driving him crazy. You can do the same. Answer each barb with the same bored tone: “So?”, “And then that?”, “Really?” and in the same vein. Undoubtedly, by the end of this monotonous conversation, the boor will experience a real decline in moral strength.

Improvisation

In a conversation with the offender, try to use the surprise effect, surprise and disarm him with this. For example, you can laugh out loud in response to unpleasant words, as if you heard the funniest joke. You can also sneeze, noting: "Sorry, I'm just allergic to people like you." In addition, you can smile good-naturedly, and curl: "Surely, your parents are ashamed of your upbringing." Try to improvise!

If you understand that the insults that sound at you are completely unfair, and you guess that your opponent also suspects this, then you should shame him. How can I do that? First of all, you can use certain phrases. If the person insulting you is conscientious enough, then such words will be able to penetrate him.

• Never stoop to insults without understanding the situation properly. It doesn't suit you at all.
• I hope that the day will come when you will be ashamed of everything you said.
• It is strange that I had a much better opinion of you.
• I hope you're just trying to look worse than you really are.

There is no doubt that the person trying to insult you simply wants to somehow assert himself or stand out. At the end of his monologue, you may well ask coldly: “Well, did you manage to assert yourself at my expense?”.

In general, when communicating with such a person, sincerely try to understand what his true goal is, what he wants to achieve with his own words. At these moments, it is not so important what exactly your opponent says to you, but why he does it.

If you cannot find an answer in a difficult situation, then at least try not to bring the matter to mutual insults and impulsive reactions. Do not play by the rules that they try to impose on you.

It is also important to learn how to calmly respond to any rudeness, without “losing face” and a sense of dignity. Although it's hard not to admit that cultural conversion rarely makes a strong impression on the boor.

When it comes to trolling or other provocative situations, the best thing you can do is ignore such a person.

The right response to insults

• It happens that we want to answer, but you know in advance that any of your words simply will not have an effect on the offender. Of course, in this situation it is better not to waste words and energy, but simply cut off the dialogue abruptly.
• It often happens that the person who “attacks” you does not really have anything against you personally - he just has a bad mood. In this case, it is enough to ask him the question: “Bad day?”. An adequate person will not argue with this, and it is even possible that he will apologize.
• Often it is better not to lead to reciprocal insults. Try to avoid this situation by asking the interlocutor what he told you. Pretend you didn't hear his words. It is possible that the person has already regretted what was said. If the “attack” continues, then, apparently, you have a rare boor in front of you.
• During some dialogues, we are simply strangled by the desire to pounce on the interlocutor. And yet, be that as it may, it is very important not to come to this - you will almost certainly regret it. Try to keep your mind calm. It will be ideal if you learn to parry with witty remarks, and not show that provocations hurt you in any way.
• It is impossible not to mention one of the most common mistakes made by people who were forced to face insults. It's about excuses. Often, when we hear hurtful words, we try to prove to the opponent that he is unfair to us. With such tactics, you will undoubtedly find yourself in a position of humiliation.

Insulted by a stranger

If a person is drunk or clearly out of his mind, then you should still ignore his words - just try not to notice him. If we are talking about a stranger who didn’t like your behavior, then try to understand the situation, and then act “according to circumstances”.

Offended by a loved one

It is important to immediately understand why the conflict situation occurred, and what provoked it. It is better to prevent the spread of further quarrel, and frankly tell a loved one that he offended you, and you are hurt by his words. Try not to hush up the conflict, but speak frankly, clarifying the matter.

It happens that at the moments when they try to offend us with their insults, we frantically begin to scroll through the possible answers in our thoughts. It becomes quite insulting if these efforts are in vain and a witty answer comes to our mind after the dialogue is completed. Everyone knows the expression that “after a fight they don’t wave their fists”, therefore it is advisable to respond to the interlocutor’s sharp remarks in a timely manner.

So, let's look at some similar phrases that can help us in a difficult conversation:

• I don't want to interrupt you, but I have more important things to do. Are you done?
• Do you answer politely or tell the truth?

Note that most often people who easily go to insult the interlocutor, as a rule, do not have high intelligence, so smart answers often drive them into a stupor. What options can be used?

Examples:

• I don’t know what your usual diet is, but this menu is clearly not very balanced, and contains harmful carcinogens - they took up the destruction of your brain cells!
• Scientists have not yet fully studied the intellectual abilities of primates. Maybe you could leave your contacts, my friend researcher will need them very much. By the way, do you want to take part in a scientific experiment?

And yet, if possible, try not to respond to insults in the spirit of the offender himself. Or at least don't become the instigator of the conflict! What kind of people tend to do this?

The face of a provocateur

• A weak man who is really a coward, and sharp words are his only defense.
• An energy vampire who tries to bring out the negative emotions of the interlocutor, thereby "feeding" himself.
• Hams without education, who had to grow like "grass in the field."
• Aggressors who find it difficult to live a day without participating in any scandal.
• Unfavorable elements, like drug addicts and alcoholics, who find it difficult to control themselves.
• Just stupid people.

When you understand that an adequate and reasonable person will find a way to convey his idea without obscenities and insults, then it will be much easier for you to respond to the antics of ordinary boors.

How to properly respond to insults? There is no one in the world who has never been offended.

However, some look optimistic and satisfied with life, while others react painfully to other people's attacks and clog "in a mink".

Let's think about how to properly respond to insults and remain unconvinced?

Big bosses, school teachers, kindergarten teachers, employees of registry offices and housing departments, even ordinary janitors - all the time they strive to offend the innocent.

It is important to distinguish criticism (albeit in a rude form) from insults. A criticizing person will definitely name the facts, his claims are due to specific things and actions.

But the offender often becomes personal, descends to swearing, calling names, but this has nothing to do with your mistakes.

What to do if your boss insults you

In my life there were two opposite working collectives. Pleasant people gathered at the planning meetings of the first one, discussed successes, calmly expressed criticism, and supported those who did not succeed.

After the speech of the talented and calm leader, everyone was full of enthusiasm and set to work with redoubled energy.

At meetings of the second job, the boss constantly shouted, he considered everyone mediocrity and fools.

He could humiliate a young girl for an immodest outfit, a chubby secretary for being overweight, and torture a colleague for half an hour for a crumpled tie.

Exhausted and tired, everyone took up work with reluctance, once a month someone was sure to quit “on their own”.

The easiest way to say “run from this job”, because nothing will change the boss. But not everyone can change lucrative positions like gloves.

However, if you correctly respond to insults, you will soon be able to earn his respect and stay in the team for a long time.

What is needed for that? calm tone, increased self-esteem, smile, self-esteem and understanding of the causes of other people's behavior.

The shorter your answers will be,all the better.

Do not get angry in response, put on a friendly face and forgive the offender in advance. After all, he is weak and primitive, and you are stronger, higher than him.

1. Get away from the situation. Work is not life, it's just work. You get money - not for nerves and complaisance, but for your skills, period.

But no one pays for your peace of mind, so take care of it. Limit contacts with unpleasant people. And after work, friends, children, wife, pets, a delicious dinner, your favorite series are waiting for you.

2. Turn on "ignore". Keep quiet and go about your business until the boss returns to a calm tone.

3. If the offender is inflamed in earnest, you can, hiding malice, thank him for his kind remarks.

He tells you: “Yes, you are probably crazy!”, You boomerang to him: “Oh, you noticed it very well.”

He: “Yes, I have never seen you more stupid,” and you: “Thank you, I appreciate all your comments. I will definitely work on myself." Smile sincerely, well, almost.

4. Consider the scale of the disaster. Is it so scary that a colleague in the heat of a dispute called you an ugly name? There is a war somewhere in the world, someone is always starving, stars explode, new planets are formed ...

On the scale of the universe, the words of some bungler are empty, zero. Should I respond to insults and worry?

5.The method of "aquarium fish" helped many of my colleagues. It is enough to imagine that the boss is talking and talking, and only bubbles come out of his mouth and only gurgling is heard.

Separate yourself mentally from it with aquarium glass and enjoy the view.

6. When they shout at you for no reason (in other words, when it is not necessary to delve into the meaning of words), strain your imagination and Imagine boss, say, giant hamster. Or a harmful monkey that escaped from the enclosure and steals bags from passers-by.

7. Draw air into your lungs and in one breath, exhaling evenly, say: "I would like you to be more polite to me."

Or " Let's get to the point: what specific claims do you have against me? It puts some people in their place, like an ice cold shower.

One of my university teachers managed to overwhelm the smartest students: instead of talking on tickets, she poured personal insults in a low, sarcastic voice. Yes, yes, there are such luminaries of science.

But my not the most gifted (but calm as a tank) classmate managed to pass everything on the first try. During the exam, he also quietly told her, “You are being unprofessional. Let's get back to the subject, shall we?"

8. It is very important to remind presumptuous bosses that slavery and serf labor have long been abolished.

If you are insulted, and you hear cries of “I demand”, “I order” and the like, try changing the tone of the conversation with a calm phrase: “So what kind of request?”, focusing on the last word.

9. The most important – don't show resentment, do not succumb to provocation.

Do not break into response reproaches and shouting, do not move your eyebrows angrily, and in general, do not give the offender a reason to see that you are hurt. And only then will you win.

If the scream is compressed into a lump in your throat, go to the toilet, turn on the taps and scream. And then wash your face, smile in the mirror, take a deep breath - and back again.

10. A few more magical phrases that put a person in his place:“Why are you trying to offend me?”, “Are you having an unpleasant day today? I understand, it happens”, “You seemed to me a different, more pleasant person”, “I didn’t expect this from you”, “Excuse me, are you finished? I would like to work."

11. Control your thoughts. Do not remember offensive words at night, do not invent theoretical answers, do not wish for revenge.

All this exhausts you, spoils your mood, but does not affect the offender in any way.

The most “vindictive” thing you can do is to live peacefully and enjoy the new day in spite of everything.

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8 simple tricks to deal with rudeness.

In France, there is the phrase "l'esprit d'escalier" - "wit on the stairs" - a situation in which the right words to answer the interlocutor were found too late, when you had already left the room on the stairs. It is especially disappointing if there was no timely response to someone's unexpected boorish attack - the impudence of a rude person is often completely confusing.

How to avoid the unpleasant consequences of a boorish attitude? You can, of course, answer "the fool himself" or proudly remain silent, but website invites you to arm yourself better. We have selected eight methods to help you protect your precious peace of mind.

How to react correctly?

You probably noticed that almost no one is rude to some people, while others constantly fall under the hand? Many boors have remarkable intuition and observation. They choose their victims according to the principle of strength-weakness: “This one is sharp on the tongue, it’s better not to mess with him, but you can with this one. He's probably going to say something stupid in response."

The last category includes people with low self-esteem, too cultured and well-mannered, people with an increased sense of guilt, afraid of accidentally offending another, as well as people who avoid conflicts and conflict situations.

Before engaging in fights with offenders, you need to work on your self-esteem, self-confidence and inner strength. After all, it is almost impossible to be rude to the strong.

Politeness

Hams are cowards, they are not accustomed to frankness and calmness. They need to piss you off, don't make them happy. The main thing is to find a middle ground in how to answer: the tone should be calm, you should not apologize or scoff.

For example, someone climbs, pushing, out of turn:

• "Of course of course. Come on, have a nice day."

Another example of a polite response:

• Bus conductor:“Why are you giving me 500 rubles? I don't have change! I'll land now!"
  Passenger(in a serious but calm tone): “I have a long way to go. I would be very grateful if you manage to change the banknote.”

Alienation

If you often have to deal with a boor - for example at work, then the best method is to be coldly polite and immediately stop the conversation as soon as it goes beyond the acceptable limits. For example:

• “Sorry, I have a lot of work right now and don’t have time to listen to you.”
• “I’m sorry, but with questions like this, you better go to the boss (to a specialist, to another employee, etc.), because I have clear instructions not to talk about it (this is not in my competence, I don’t do this anymore and etc.)"

Psychological aikido

The essence of psychological aikido is to use his own strength against the opponent. Let us remember the good soldier Schweik, who, as you know, did not respond to the insults of those who offended him, but ... agreed with them. “Schweik, you are an idiot!” they told him. And he immediately answered: "Yes, I'm an idiot!", - and remained the absolute winner in the verbal "battle" from the first second.

Imagine this dialogue:

• - When will you learn to park? Well, you are a fool!
  - You're right, I'll never learn how to park because I'm stupid.

Or another example:

• "As you said? Am I a lousy intellectual? Yes, I'm really a lousy intellectual. If you don't want to get infected, stay away."

Humor

When a person wants to say something bad, he draws air into his lungs. If you make him laugh at this moment, he will relax. Accompany your joke with a smile, you can even praise your opponent.

• The secretary went to the director during a meeting to bring tea. But she failed. Catching her heel on the carpet, she slammed to the floor, knocking over all the cups. Seeing the director's face turned purple with anger, the secretary blurted out: "You are so stunning!" Everyone in the room immediately laughed.

boredom

This method is suitable for administrators of forums, groups in social networks, etc. It is known that many community members, knowing full well the general rules, deliberately violate them, and then blow up the personal accounts of administrators, expressing sincere disagreement with the fact that they were added to the ban list. When arguments end, rudeness begins.

Of course, you can ban the dissatisfied in a personal, but if you need to defend the rightness, try to describe in detail all the flaws of the violator without emotions. At first, the interlocutor will blow off steam in the hope of having fun, but, having met with a dry official language, he will get bored and fall behind.

• Participant:“Why did I get banned? This is arbitrary! Then write on the page: “We do what we want, we ban the one we want!”.
  Administrator:“You violated paragraph 2 of the rules of such and such. You have been banned for two weeks in accordance with the rules of the forum."
  Participant:“I didn’t break anything and my pictures are normal! It’s you who find fault there, you yourself don’t understand anything in photographs, so don’t interfere!
  Administrator:“For insulting the administration, your ban is extended for another two weeks.”

Hedgehog care

Imagine a hedgehog that released its thorns out of fear. On the one hand, the hedgehog is angry and prickly, and on the other, small and frightened. One has only to take care of him, as he softens, hides the thorns and puffs contentedly, drinking milk from a saucer.

Same with the abuser. Take a condescending, compassionate stance. Praise him, give him a friendly pat on the shoulder, give in, let him win a game or two, wish him all the most beautiful things in the world. After all, it is quite easy to do. Having calmed down, the offender will no longer be afraid of you and, most likely, will understand that in addition to enemy competition, there is peaceful coexistence and partnership.

Ignoring

The general method for all causes of rudeness is "Ignore". After all, sometimes silence is good, safe and ... beautiful. If you do not need anything from the offender, you are not psychologically ready to fight with him, or your offender, as you think, is psychologically unhealthy, dangerous to life and health - use the Ignore method.

No wonder folk wisdom says: “a fool screams, but a smart one is silent”, “of the two arguing wrong, the one who is smarter.” Hams always strive to win your attention, they also need to somehow feed on your energy. That is why the usual ignoring for them is one of the worst punishments.

It is important to consider: ignoring must be correct. Without a hurtful look and sad sighs. The boor should not take your ignoring for swallowing resentment, inability to respond or forgiveness. There shouldn't be any emotions. The offender for you is an empty place. You are a happy, successful person who has no time to notice such nonsense.

Effective responses to rudeness

If you can’t keep silent, try to answer in an original and apt way:

• "It's all?" or "So what?"
• "I had a better opinion of you"
• "Rudeness does not suit anyone, and even more so for you,"
• “Do you politely answer or tell the truth?”,
• "Why do you always try to look worse than you really are?",
• "Thank you for being so attentive to my person,"
• “You want to offend me? What's the point?"