I make the wrong choices in life all the time. Wrong word choice

Probably each of us has heard the following phrase at least once in our lives: “That’s why you need it?!” You're doing it wrong. It’s better to choose this!” And we can hear these phrases throughout our conscious and independent lives. In such cases, it is often difficult to determine whether the choice is truly wrong. Or is it still a delusion of those around us, who for some reason believe that they know better than ourselves what we need to choose? I also had to deal with similar phenomena, and in a variety of different life situations. And in such cases, how can one understand what to be guided by, public opinion or one’s own opinion?

When are we most likely to make the “wrong” choice?

In my opinion, there are several life situations in which our choices most often turn out to be wrong. But whether it is so only in the opinion of others or is objectively wrong is up to you to decide.

Appearance . I have encountered criticism from friends, and just women I know, on this issue quite often. As soon as I changed my hair color, hairstyle, manicure, there was always at least one person dissatisfied with these changes. Well, the question is, who needs it, making my manicures and pedicures a topic for discussion? But those who wish have always been, are and will be. This is what I mean: even if you try to change even the smallest detail in yourself, even if you make a side parting rather than a straight part, in any case there will be someone who will criticize you for it. At one time I was very worried if one of my friends did not approve of my changes, and immediately began to ask myself the question: “Maybe I really shouldn’t have done this? From the outside, it’s clearer whether I’m doing well or not...” But then I doubted this: after all, each person has his own subjective view of things, especially when it comes to women’s appearance and beauty. In addition, those around me can only appreciate the external side of my changes, but there is also an internal component, that is, how I myself perceive these transformations, my feelings in a new image. It still seems to me that it is the inner confidence that changes in appearance have been beneficial that is main factor. Of course, you can convince your friend that this yellow blouse looks great on her, no matter what others say. But there will always be someone who can prove her wrong. But if I myself, without anyone’s suggestion, decided for myself that I look like a queen in this, then no one will convince me otherwise. Constructive criticism- it’s a good thing, but in matters of beauty you need to listen to her very carefully.

Relationship . I wonder if there are such cases when the relationship between a man and a woman receives approval from everyone around them. I don’t know about you, but I personally have never encountered this before. In most cases, someone will definitely be unhappy with your choice, even if they don’t say so directly. In such a situation, everything is quite simple: you can calmly build a relationship with your chosen one, and not pay attention to the grumbling of the dissatisfied one. Who knows, maybe he just has a personal dislike, he doesn’t like your man and that’s it, or he’s jealous, or maybe even envious. But this is a completely normal situation, unlike the one when almost 100% of those around you do not approve of this relationship. Of course, you shouldn’t rush at others with fists and shouts: “But still, my Petya is the best! And you all...!” You should also not go to the other extreme - immediately leave this man without explaining to him, and most importantly, yourself itself, the reasons for this gap. In my opinion, such massive disapproval from others is a good reason to think about your relationships. Why doesn't anyone support us? Does everyone around me really have some kind of unanimous personal dislike for my Petya? Or is it about Pete himself and his attitude towards me? There are times when others think this way: “Our Masha is smart, beautiful (and further on the endless list), this Petya does not suit her at all, this is not her level!”, while few people are interested in the opinion of Masha herself, but her arguments in favor of Petya everyone seems unconvinced. One of my good friends had this situation. So what did she do? Yes, in general, nothing special: she stayed with her beloved Petya, who treated her very well and with whom she felt comfortable, and asked everyone who disagreed with her decision to either stop discussing this topic or stop communicating with her altogether. And she stayed with her loved one, and at the same time checked who is a real friend and who is not.

But what if those around you don’t sing your praises, but simply talk about Petya’s bad attitude towards you, about his specific personal qualities? Maybe then it’s worth looking at this situation through their eyes, that is, from the position of an outside observer, and not a girl in love who looks at the world and her chosen one through rose-colored glasses? There was just such a situation in my life when the opinions of others allowed me to critically think about my relationships, draw the right conclusions and correct the current situation. So in this case, I would still listen to the opinions of others. Of course, it should not become a decisive factor, but it can bring certain benefits.

Education and career. This point primarily worries those closest to you, especially parents, but I have come across situations where the “wrong” choice becomes a problem for a wider circle of people. I think many people are familiar with this situation when those around them unanimously repeat: “Go study to become an economist! It’s a good specialty, you can earn a decent living!” It’s as if profit is the only thing that should guide you when choosing a profession. Or maybe I dream of studying the life of cephalopods in the Pacific Ocean and am not going to be an economist? Such an answer usually causes shock among advisers: “But...but...how...What will you live on, how will you earn money?” This is already more interest Ask. If your favorite activity is also profitable, it’s perfect option, which, alas, is not always available. How to proceed, if what I want to do cannot provide me decent life? Agree with the opinions of others and go retrain as an economist? I believe that in a situation like this public opinion- this is simply a stimulus for thought, encouraging you to search optimal solution. There are many options for solving this problem, and I personally would choose this one: I would find another pleasant activity that would bring a stable income, even if less than working as an economist. Moreover, you should definitely like it, even if even less than studying mollusks. And I would study Pacific Islanders as a hobby in my free time from work, and then you might see some interesting work in this direction.

How to make the right decision?

I still face the problem of “wrong” choices, only in other life situations. For myself, I came to the following conclusion: sticking to the golden mean is the most important thing, being able to make decisions based on both your own and public opinion. In some cases, the scales may tip in one direction, but you should never forget about the second factor. Yes, I am a person who has the right to own opinion, but at the same time I don’t forget that I live in society, and not on desert island. Therefore, I always try to find a compromise between my “I” and society, I strive for harmony, so to speak. I make my own decisions and choices, and public opinion, if it has common sense, helps me in this difficult matter.

One day in Springfield, the Simpson family visited Monstromart, a new supermarket with the slogan "Where shopping is a challenge." The choice of products was simply huge, the shelves with goods reached the ceiling, there were more than a thousand types of nutmeg alone. The family eventually returned to their usual supermarket, Apu's Kwik-E-Mart.

The Simpsons preferred a supermarket with a limited selection of goods. If you think logically, this is not the most rational action, but it creates the right feeling in the buyer.

They preferred to get satisfaction from what they could choose good product from several presented, and not get confused in the huge number of Monstromart products. And despite the fact that this is an animated series, this approach is quite real and is confirmed by examples from life.

Fewer products - more profit

More recently, Dave Lewis Executive Director largest British retail network for the sale of food and industrial goods Tesco has made shopping in its stores much easier. He decided to remove 30,000 of the 90,000 products from supermarket shelves. This was partly a response to the growing share of German retail chains Aldi and Lidl, which only offer about 2-3 thousand product lines.

For example, Tesco has 28 tomato ketchups to choose from, while discounters Aldi only offer one ketchup per pack size. Tesco offers 224 types of air fresheners, Aldi only offers 12, which is still 11 more air fresheners than needed.

Now Lewis is trying to make shopping at Tesco less time-consuming for shoppers. He conducted an experiment in 50 stores, making purchasing ingredients for dishes easier and faster. For example, Indian sauces were placed next to basmati rice, next to canned tomatoes- pasta.

Lewis took a revolutionary approach: he simultaneously reduced the number of goods and arranged them in in the right order so that customers spend much less time choosing and purchasing. And this had a positive effect on sales.

The very idea that too much choice is a bad thing flies in the face of everything we've believed for decades.

The large selection is confusing

There is a standard belief that being big brings us freedom and new opportunities, but this opinion will not help you when you are standing in front of a huge rack of bottles of water, thirsty, but cannot make a choice.

Supermarket Shelves/Flickr.com

American psychologist and professor social theory Barry Schwartz, in his book The Paradox of Choice, argues that in practice, too much choice only creates confusion.

A great example of this is shown in the jam experiment. IN grocery store equipped two display cases where customers were offered to try the jam and get a jar of jam for it with a $1 discount. One display case had six types of jam, the other - 24 types. Of the people who tried jam in a display case with six types, 30% bought a jar, and in a display case with 24 types, only 3% of buyers decided to buy.

Choice removes responsibility from the supplier

Let's consider another example - pension savings. Schwartz found that a friend's company offered 156 different pension plans. The professor noted that such a large choice seems to shift responsibility for the quality of the chosen plan from the employer to the employee.

When an employer provides few pension plans, it is responsible for their reliability and the quality of plans. But if he offers great amount plans, then, as it were, shifts the responsibility for choosing a quality plan to the employees: “We have given you a huge choice, and if you chose an unprofitable plan, then this is your miscalculation, and we have nothing to do with it.”

And this becomes a huge problem. How many of us feel competent enough to choose the best plan for ourselves from among 156 options? People are sure what to do correct solution about pension savings- it is very important. “But instead of making a choice,” says Schwartz, “many people put it off indefinitely.”

One of his colleagues with access to a giant mutual fund company found that for every 10 new funds offered by employers, workers' contributions were reduced by 2%, even though they lost an excellent chance of receiving $5,000 a year from the employer.

Feelings of guilt and high expectations

“Even when we finally make a choice,” Schwartz says, “we feel less satisfied with the outcome than if we had fewer options to choose from. If you had many alternatives, it's easy to imagine that they are still better than what you chose. Are you worried about what you didn't do? right choice, and it's really frustrating."

Thus, too many choices can make us unhappy due to regrets, guilt, and lost profits. Worse, the large selection creates new problem- high expectations.

Let's take for example. While stores sell only one type of jeans that doesn’t suit you, you take them, break them in, wash them, hem them, and they more or less fit you. And when there is a huge variety of jeans in stores: skinny, wide, with zippers and buttons, with high and low waists - you expect that there should be a model that will suit you perfectly.

Robert Sheie/Flickr.com

And when you buy the most suitable model from those in the store, and realize that it is far from ideal and requires improvement, you get upset.

Schwartz suggests that, to some extent, having too much choice takes away from your sense of satisfaction. “The secret of happiness is low expectations,” says the professor.

Then no wonder we are unhappy. In the 10 years since Schwartz wrote the book, the idea of ​​huge choice has permeated every area of ​​life: schools, sex, parenting products, television. As a result, expectations have also increased greatly.

One area that has been impacted by this trend is dating. began to be treated like any other product: on the Internet we can find and select a promising sexual partner for ourselves.

Dating sites are one of the most common ways to find a romantic partner, and the huge selection on such sites becomes a real problem. A similar situation was shown by comedian Aziz Ansari in his book " Contemporary novel" In it, a woman made a date through a dating app, and while she was driving to the meeting, she looked to see if anyone better appeared on the app.

Stephen McCulloch/Flickr.com

In such conditions, complete refusal of dating and relationships is gaining popularity. As sociology professor Eric Klinenberg has written, the unusually increased number of single people is due to the fact that people have more choice and fewer reasons choose. In Japan, for example, there are men who have real sex and romantic relationships simply because there is too much pornography on the Internet to suit every taste.

Psychologist Philip Zimbardo argues that because online pornography provides many options for satisfying one's desires through masturbation, real romantic relationship are becoming less and less attractive.

You pay more for the same thing

There's another problem: More choice masks the fact that you're paying more for things you already have. This happens a lot in the television industry.

For example, the BT Sport group of sports channels received exclusive rights to broadcast football matches of the Champions League and Europa League. On the one hand, it seems that viewers have more choice and more pleasure from watching. But if you're a subscriber to another channel, like Sky Sports, it means the opposite. To watch all the streams you watched last year, you'll have to pay more.

This happens often on . To watch everything good programs, you need to subscribe to many channels or buy a large package. And 10 years ago, when there was no such variety, you could watch all the good programs on one or two channels.

What is presented to us as a large selection actually costs more. For the average consumer, this choice is an opportunity to spend the same money and get less, or spend more and get the same.

Fear and worry about making the wrong choice

“Consider electricity,” says Professor Renata Salecl, author of The Tyranny of Choice. - The privatization of electricity did not bring the desired results: lower prices and best quality service. Instead, people constantly worry and feel guilty about continuing to overpay for electricity when there is probably a better supplier somewhere nearby.”

We believe that the choices we make after careful planning should bring the expected results - safety, pleasure. That by making the right choice, we will be able to avoid the unpleasant feelings of having to come to terms with loss or risk. But in the end, the opposite is true: when people are overwhelmed by the huge choice and when they worry about it, denial, ignorance and willful blindness are most likely to appear.

Still, Schwartz believes that having a little choice can be beneficial. For example, charter schools appeared in the United States in the 1990s. Because public school education in the United States is generally terrible, charter schools have begun to compete to improve the quality of education.

But, of course, things don’t get any easier for parents. Just like choosing a pension, choosing a school leaves you with a sea of ​​regret, shame, and fear that your choice isn't the best. It doesn’t make it any easier to think that your choice directly affects your child’s future.

Competition or monopoly

Against the backdrop of all this, in 2015, trends are emerging in the world by reducing choice, and this applies not only to products in supermarkets. In Britain, for example, politicians are proposing to re-nationalize railway and public services. Perhaps this will help reduce the anxiety and agony of choice among citizens.

Maybe what we really need is not an increase, but, on the contrary, a decrease in choice? Fewer competing companies, more monopolists. And before you remember Soviet Union with a deficit and identical goods, read the statement of PayPal founder Peter Thiel, who believes that monopoly is a great thing, and competition is not always good for both business and consumers.

In the real world, any business is only as successful as it can offer something that others cannot. Therefore, a monopoly is normal condition any successful business. In essence, competition is for losers.

Peter Thiel

How do you feel about the choice? Should we make it smaller?

The unfortunate fate of many people is a consequence of the choice they did not make.

They are neither alive nor dead. Life turns out to be a burden, a pointless pursuit, and deeds are only a means of protection from the torments of existence in the kingdom of shadows.
(E. Fromm)

Tell me, have you ever had to make a choice?

Stupid question, right?

It’s clear what everyone had to do definite choice very often, and sometimes even too often.

Anyone who has made a difficult choice at least once knows that it is not the easiest thing.

It is impossible and unnecessary to teach a person to make the right choice.

The only question is that a person understands where there is actually Choice, and where there is the Only True Decision, and “choice” is just an illusory wall in front of him, creating “suspense” and ambiguity in any situation.

Please note that when you are faced with some ambiguous situation that requires you to make a balanced decision, then your internal tension (or even suffering) arises precisely from the fact that you find yourself in a kind of limbo - a state of chaos. Having already encountered this chaos, you refuse to solve it qualitatively.

This is very important point: Suffering occurs when a person refuses to make a choice.

This is the real one psychological problem- internal contradiction, a clash of opposing desires, none of which a person can or does not want to completely abandon.

Remember that you cannot forgive and take revenge at the same time. You won’t be able to escape from loneliness to friends and at the same time maintain the illusion of your strength and independence. You won’t be able to get the person back and maintain your unapproachable position at the same time. But you can always do one thing - namely, accept the Only The right decision, and then all the chaos will stop and your life will immediately move on.

It turns out strange, but as a result we will not even talk about choice, but rather about what this Choice can do to us, and in particular bad things.

The most important thing is to anticipate the traps that are created by Illusory choice.

Let's start, as always, with an example to understand the essence of our conversation.

The dog is sitting near the table, you are at the table, there is a sandwich on the table. The dog wants to steal the sandwich, but understands that he will be punished. And so she sits and sits between two fires and suddenly begins to frantically scratch behind her ear. She can neither remain indifferent nor react and chooses the third path, which is no longer relevant to the matter at all.

This is a displaced activity - doing something that is not directly related to what you really need. This is what is driven into the gap between biological (“I want”) and social (“I need”) motivation. Writers, for example, begin to write something completely different from what they should, photographers begin to shoot something not related to the order.

Now p Imagine that one person (let it be a man named Peter) sits and watches TV all day. Towards evening, Peter’s eyes begin to hurt slightly, and his wife shouts to him from time to time that watching TV all day is stupid, that, they say, it would be better to go for a walk together or go to a restaurant, for example, like normal people.

But for some reason our Peter does not follow his wife’s persistent recommendations.

Peter's brain begins to reason about what he can look at the TV or look at the wall. Making an (illusory) choice between the wall and the TV, Peter, of course, chooses the TV. At the same time, Peter will end his reasoning here. The choice has been made, the choice is logical - watching TV is better than watching the wall.

This choice did not include his wife’s suggestions, because it is difficult for our Peter to take advantage of them. this moment, instead of this boredom, he made an illusory choice in which he chose what he wanted (or considered necessary) to do.

IN in this example you can see how a person loves to create excuses for his weakness. The brain will always find and tell us the Choice Without Choice of what is simpler and easier, but it will not necessarily be the best solution from all possible options.

When we make a decision, we often, instead of looking at the whole picture, can only limit ourselves to the fact that what we are going to do is better than something else and that’s all (as in our example with Peter).

Let's now consider an example with a girl named Tanya.

The girl Tanya loves milk chocolate very much, but at the same time she wants to go on a diet. Chocolate and diet are not very compatible, which means our Tanya will have to make a choice. It would seem that Tanya can either continue to eat her favorite milk chocolate and forget about the diet, or go on a diet and forget about her favorite milk chocolate.

Instead, Tanya may, having contrived (and made an illusory choice), go on a chocolate diet, i.e., without making any real choice from the initial decisions, still make a completely different choice, which in truth could lead her through certain time to diabetes.

Alternatively, our Tanya can, without bothering too much with the real choice, find a random article in a search engine that chocolate does not interfere with the diet at all and, with a smile on her face, begin to actively lose weight with chocolate in her hand.

A person encounters a real choice that does not suit him, closes his eyes to it and finds out of nowhere an unknown solution, which may have nothing in common with the real situation.

Cunning parents sometimes say to their child: “Will you do your homework before lunch or after lunch?”

They only give him a choice about when to do his homework, without allowing him to accept independent decision about the need to independently complete your own lessons.

From similar situations“light suggestions” very often grow long and branchy roots and roots.

IN further man says to himself that “I will do the work tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, well, in general, someday - I have a choice - a whole week!” The week is coming to an end, and not a single Decision has been made from the rich Choice.

Many would be surprised to learn that they very often act exactly like Peter and other people from our examples.

A person needs to solve some problem, but very often, instead of a direct and obvious solution (which he knows and is absolutely sure that it is correct), he begins to create illusory alternative (more often than not meaninglessly opposite) versions of this very choice, or even completely go into complete chaos. different choices with new data and options.

And then you get endless dilemmas between NEED AND WANT (followed by freezing in place without any progress), when you just had to start doing something with DO, but think carefully about I WANT.

The Right Decision is very often indeed Choice, and Choice is always EITHER OR.

A real choice always involves the loss of something else, albeit a minor one, but a loss. Very often this relative loss of what is the victim of the right decision is what frightens people initially, leading them astray.

“If there is something bad, then its opposite is necessarily good!”

There is a Good Right Decision that does not need reverse polarity, because it can lead you to an average choice that will no longer be 100% good.

As the saying goes, “You don’t have to be NOT stupid to be smart.”

Everyone knows that being smart, healthy and happy is very good and everyone wants it, but wait... I am sure that each of you can easily name the advantages of being stupid, sick and sad (for example, “life is always easier for a fool” , “people who are sick and sad are often given sweet and pleasant sympathy”, etc., etc.).

Why do you need an illusory second pan of scales where it is not needed?

To be happy or not to be is NOT a choice.

Happiness, wisdom, health - these are all the only right decisions!

Why do you need negative energy where you don’t have enough positive energy yet?

People are sure that when they are lazy to get up in the morning, they can show willpower and get up. But think for a minute... what does a person endow Laziness with? in this case quite a lot of energy, he has a lot secondary benefits, excuses and fixations on this Laziness. He just needs to solve the problem of what makes him lazy, so as not to constantly cause himself in the morning a strange choice between I Want and I Need (where I Need will be “I don’t want to get up so early, but I have to go to work”, and I Want will be “I want to continue sleeping”) , I don’t want and won’t go to any job”).

After all, constantly making such a choice, a person will eventually stop loving his work or study, because it constantly forces him to abandon the “I Want” and step over himself, realizing the “Need.”

Completely healthy and rational person who knows what he wants, knows where he is striving and knows why he is doing something; he does not need to force himself by willpower to get up in the morning, he already knows that this is required for his life and calmly (or even with pleasure) stands up with a smile on his face.

It’s not for nothing that people say “He who gets up early, God gives to him.” The essence folk wisdom just by observing those people who get up early and easily, because they are always successful, cheerful and focused on success.

You can become aware of any hidden influences and incomprehensible (sometimes automatic) decisions. If something is affecting you, you may well become aware of it and remove the influence of it. The idea of ​​a hidden influence that you fundamentally cannot understand is an invention of people who do not wish you well at all.

If you are too lazy to get up in the morning and it puzzles you, think and find specific reasons for this, at least be aware of them, so that you do not confuse yourself that work or study is completely bad, most likely, there is a much more common reason for morning laziness (for example, an annoying workplace situation or some angry person)..

The law of life is that a person can find out everything that is truly significant to him and that can influence him. Otherwise, it cannot influence him in principle.

There are no “black forces” that you cannot feel, explore, see and realize;

you can discover the nature of all that whoops and creaks at night if you just go and look.

If you are constantly faced with some ridiculous choices, instead of calmly making the right decisions; deal with this chaos of scattered little things separately, consider both sides of the choice - decision, think about what makes you think about the other (“dark”) side of this choice. Don't deny something, just solve it and stop confusing yourself and confusing such good man How are you on the right track!

Remember that it is never too late to find your own path and your right decision in any situation, the main danger is the fear of turning back and telling yourself that the world that you built for yourself was illusory and prevented you from seeing things as they are In fact.

Surprisingly, many managers often complain that their best employees leave them. If so, they have reason to sound the alarm, since for any company there is nothing worse than the loss of valuable personnel.

You can attribute these problems to anything, but the fact remains: people do not leave if they are not satisfied with their work; people leave if they don't like the leader.

By the way, problems can be avoided by looking at the situation in a new way and making a little effort.

First of all, it is necessary to understand what actions of managers irritate good employees most.

1. Excessive loads

Excessive workload is the main cause of emotional burnout. If you work with the best people, the temptation to get the best out of them is very strong, but this desire leads people to confusion - they feel that they are being punished for quality work. In addition, overload reduces labor productivity. The latest study from Stanford University has proven that with duration working week more than 50 hours, the effectiveness drops sharply, and if the duration is more than 55 hours, it tends to zero.

If you need to assign additional work to talented employees, you will have to promote them in status. If this is not done, the work will quickly become a burden to them, and they will eventually leave. Excessive workload can be compensated for by an increase, promotion or change of position. Don't expect talented people to work harder than everyone else. Most likely, they will simply find a place where they will be appreciated.

2. Lack of recognition and rewards for good work

At first glance, a reassuring pat on the shoulder may not seem to mean anything, especially to best employee with excellent internal motivation. This impression is deceptive, because everyone likes praise, including those who devote themselves entirely to work. Managers need to communicate more often with subordinates and find out how they can be encouraged and rewarded for success (for example, by giving a bonus or praising them in the presence of colleagues). Remember that in the case of talented employees, this will have to be done really often.

3. Lack of human care

More than half of employees leave their jobs because they fail to build trusting relationships with their superiors. Smart leaders know how to maintain a balance between professionalism and humanity. They celebrate the successes of employees with them, try to help those who are experiencing better times, and forced to work to the limit if necessary. Those to whom this is alien continue to complain about the high percentage of staff turnover. It is unlikely that people will work for you without feeling your emotional involvement and sincere concern for their welfare.

4. Failure to fulfill obligations

Making a promise to an employee can make him happy or disappoint him, causing him to leave. By fulfilling your promise, you justify trust and grow in his eyes, which is undoubtedly very important. Refusing a promise makes you look like a slippery type who doesn't respect other people's feelings. If the manager does not fulfill his promises, sooner or later all employees begin to follow his example.

5. Hiring and promotion unsuitable specialists

Good hardworking employees want to see equally conscientious colleagues next to them. If a manager does not care about carefully selecting new personnel, this will demotivate those already working in the company. Promoting unsuitable specialists always leads to disastrous results. A person who worked hard but was left without a promotion will probably be offended and begin to look for a new use for his talent.

6. Obstacles in trying to follow your dreams

Talented people are always obsessed with their work. They have hopes and dreams that they strive for. This desire allows them to work productively and enjoy their work. Many managers limit their subordinates. They fear that people driven by passion will perform worse if they allow that passion to take over them. This fear is completely unfounded. Research shows that the euphoria of chasing a dream increases productivity by about five times.

7. Lack of training

When answering questions about inattention to subordinates, many managers look for excuses for themselves, hiding behind words such as “trust”, “ independent work" and "delegation of authority." This is complete nonsense. Leaders must lead no matter how talented their subordinates are. They must constantly listen and voice their opinions.

The management process is endless. If you have a talented employee working under you, you need to define a development path for him. The best specialists always count on feedback, and you are obliged to provide it. If this does not happen, the employee will quickly get bored and relax.

8. Resistance to creativity

Talented employees always strive to improve what they touch. If you don't allow them to do this for fear of innovation, they will quickly hate their job. Attempts to restrain creative impulses harm everyone, including the leader himself.

9. Lack of difficult and interesting tasks

The best managers sometimes give their employees tasks that at first glance seem impossible. They turn down trivial projects and instead try to push people out of their comfort zone and then go the extra mile to help them succeed. If talented and smart people forced to do simple or boring work, they begin to look for another one to test their abilities.

Today, a certain student unexpectedly wrote to me, wanting to take part in the Audio Scientist project. However, he didn't start by describing his strengths and explaining why we should take him on the team. He started like this: “ I dare to ask what essentially, besides “Audio expert”, you do, and what is the likelihood that I will finally change completely not interesting work, where I am “forced” to work, and will do what interests me..)»

This alarmed me. It seems that the person himself does not yet know what he wants, but he is already beginning to understand what he does NOT want. Therefore, my question followed - what exactly is he interested in and what are his plans? It turned out that the young man was studying at a university to get a diploma that would open the way for him to go “abroad.”

This is his plan to achieve... WHAT? Abroad? Then why study for 5 years for this, especially since you don’t like the work? But why! To go abroad and earn much more there and live more comfortably there! That is, money will ultimately give everything. This is the goal. But a profession is not a goal. The profession he chose is a way to achieve his goal. This is actually a profanation. So it is impossible to become a good specialist and enjoy what you will have to do later. And apparently doubts had already crept into his mind...

Now, if you love boxing and train at home, on the street, go to the gym, and are sincerely interested in boxing, then you can become a good boxer. But you can’t get a boxing diploma and think that now you are an honored athlete. You just have some qualifications. If you can’t imagine life without boxing, then you are a boxer! And if you trained because it’s fashionable to be a boxer or they pay a lot for it, you’re a layman who goes to work as if he’s doing hard labor.

And so I tell the student. You declare openly that you don’t like it... And this is a 100% guarantee that even if you somehow manage to implement your plan of finishing your studies and going to work abroad, it will not bring satisfaction. But it will bring dependence on money. For the sake of them, his goal, he will work at a job that he does not like. He won’t even be able to quit, because he will be afraid of losing his prospects in tomorrow. He will hold on to his worthless job with all his might because his goal is not to become someone, but to earn money. His choice is not a profession. His choice is money, which gives everything else. Very simple.

This is how most Russians live. They are not happy that they once chose something they didn’t want for the sake of money, but now it’s cuckoo. The train left…. Now all I have to do is wipe my pants on my ass until 6:00 pm while sitting at work, which although it brings in money, sometimes even big money, it doesn’t bring joy. And there is no happiness in life. Incorrect choice!

If you were wondering how to make the right choice, this is well described in the lecture “Success in Studying”.

P.S. In general, we don't need people on our team who see their goal in this $$$ wrong way. Today they are nearby, and tomorrow a different amount of money will force them to quit the project without a second thought. There may not be many people on our team, but I am confident in them!