Living one day at a time or according to a plan - where is the golden mean.

Please help me Thoughts of suicide torment me But I won’t do it, just help with advice I ask my parents don’t understand me My parents are very good and did everything so that I could have everything, But I found the meaning of life and I’m following it, just give me advice I’m building plans I have obsessive thoughts I want to change it all started when I was 11 years old when I was in shock I started thinking about philosophical topics, touching on whether there is a God in the world? I know I believe in God and I believe that we have a purpose in life, it’s just like an addiction for me to write everything thoughts, I went to a psychiatrist and a neurologist, they say I’m a normal, adequate person, maybe youthful maximalism, I don’t know, sometimes obsessive thoughts inside, pain, depression, fears, bad thoughts, what would you advise me, I’m thinking of going to the PD for advisory observation, antidepressants, I’m afraid that they’ve made me a psycho, I’m labeled as a psycho, and I’m driving I really love technology, I understand I’m studying medicine, I don’t want to be registered to work, I want help, love and tell me how not to live in the past and not plan for the rest of my life, what have I done and about the future, but to live one day at a time, tell me.

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Desperate, age: 17 / 03/07/2017

Responses:

How to live one day at a time? Are you asking while studying in honey?) Dear, when studying in honey they don’t ask such questions, because they plow like hell. Focus on your studies - this is your direct responsibility before God, you do not have to be sad and despair, but studying every day (except Sundays) is your direct responsibility. Pray to accept Christ as the Lord and Savior of your life (in your own words), go to church on Sundays, or better yet, every day. Go to a very good confession. Don’t waste time on sins (pornography, alcoholism, smoking, gambling addiction, etc.) Don’t practice magic (don’t wear amulets, red thread, don’t tell fortunes, don’t keep books about magic, etc.)... Well, I advise you to read the book Nick Vujicic "Life Without Borders", available on the Internet. Helped me a lot.

BADman, age: 28 / 03/07/2017

Hello! I sympathize with you. Just get rid of obsessive thoughts) Many people are burdened by their past and future, there is nothing special here. If you believe in God, then it will be easier for you to learn to live one day at a time. After all, the Lord says that we must expect His coming every day, if not the second, then at least your personal one. No one knows for sure what the coming day will bring to him. So, if you think about the fact that every day of yours could be your last, then your life will become fuller. I tell you I’m not saying this so that you fall into depression, but so that you learn to appreciate every day) When obsessive thoughts come, turn to God, He will help you get rid of them) If they tell you that you are adequate, then this is not without reason, so don’t stress yourself out) The most important thing is to try not to allow these thoughts to reach you, try to distract yourself, because it’s hard to study in medicine. I wish you more strength and patience, believe that these thoughts will leave you) I also wish you good health and success in your studies, always have a good mood and more love, joy and peace in life! All the best to you! Don’t give up)

Anastasia, age: 18 / 03/07/2017

Hello!
Well, if a psychiatrist and a neurologist have already declared you healthy, then you shouldn’t tempt fate and go to the PD - you can “over-treat” and only make things worse. And there is a good remedy for obsessive thoughts - prayer - pray the Jesus Prayer more often with contrition of heart and sadness for the sins you have committed, pray to the Mother of God with the prayer “Virgin Mother of God, Hail...” - these are simple short prayers, they are easy to remember and the Lord and the Mother of God will always be there and they will help you!

Mikhail, age: 47 / 03/07/2017

Hello! The main thing is to understand that suicide does not eliminate problems! On the contrary, there will be many times more of them and already endless. While there is a way out, you can definitely come up with something. Maybe you should take a course of vitamins. Plus, get distracted and learn a new, interesting activity. Anyone can at least play the guitar))) Take up sports. Don't constantly think about bad things! Good health to you!

Irina, age: 29 / 03/07/2017

Pain, depression, fears - from disbelief, lack of faith and if you are not on friendly terms with your conscience.
To live one day at a time you need to be friends with your conscience. To be friends with her, you need to follow God’s advice and orders, because conscience is the voice of God. And the covenants and orders of God can be learned from the Gospel.

V., age: 40 / 03/07/2017

Thank you very much, now I will begin to change, yes, while we are alive we can change everything, and if you die it will only get worse, thank you for your support people) I’ll go to church and Nick Vuichic inspired me to do great things, I will help people, thank you, you helped a lot.

Desperate, age: 17 / 03/08/2017

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Why wait? When is half an hour left until death? It would be better if I die tomorrow, and today I will live in a way that no one has ever dreamed of. I like to take risks, walk on the edge. I love to attract attention. Including law enforcement agencies. I love to misbehave. And say what I think, even if they beat me for it. I don't want to wait for old age, wrinkles and grandchildren. I want that, remembering the day I lived in the evening, every time I was blown away - what the hell did I do! :) I want to have fun now. When else? Dying soon anyway

02/11/04, Wild Panther
I believe that you need to live one day... well, in extreme cases, two... I just had a friend... was... She studied in a parallel class, studied with straight A's, was going for a gold medal, dreamed of making a career ... and one fine morning, when she was going to school, she was hit by a car... To death... Since then, I have not planned further than 2 days... as I study, so I study, without denying myself walks (and truancy) and relaxation... At the same time, I live as if the world will end tomorrow... I try to try as much as possible, in all areas of life. Although of course I don’t impose my opinion on others... But... Decide for yourself.

06/11/04, Wild Panther
I believe that you need to live one day... well, in extreme cases, two... I just had a friend... was... She studied in a parallel class, studied with straight A's, was going for a gold medal, dreamed of making a career ... and one fine morning, when she was going to school, she was hit by a car... To death... Since then, I have not planned further than 2 days... as I study, so I study, without denying myself walks (and truancy) and relaxation... At the same time, I live as if the world will end tomorrow... I try to try as much as possible, in all areas of life. Although of course I don’t impose my opinion on others... But... Decide for yourself

06/11/04, impotence
You need to live TODAY, and not prepare to live TOMORROW. Because tomorrow may not come (see above for a clear example). Carpe diem: seize today and place as little hope as possible in tomorrow (Horace).

06/11/04, impotence
Live today: don't think about the consequences and don't dream. Don't be offended, don't argue and don't bother. And you will be happy. Today.

06/11/04, Position Girl
Because you need to live now, and not focus on what happened yesterday and what will happen tomorrow

23/08/05, Wind Song
That's probably right. But there is a danger of missing something important, perhaps, out of habit, being afraid to make plans for the future. Living one day at a time is undoubtedly easier, there is a feeling of freedom and one’s own mind, prudence, the right choice - but is it right to deny plans for the future? Won't it then be completely different from what you wanted deep down? Most likely, it will be “as it turns out”, from the “maybe” series. I think we need to find a middle ground. Perhaps so.

26/08/05, Tablet
I don't know which column to write in, because... two years ago I lived only one day, and I liked it. It gave me a kind of freedom, well, most likely a feeling of it. I lived happily, with constant emotions, intensely. But with my head I thought 30-25 percent that It’s not comforting. So to think that I’ve done several such ugly things that I agree to erase from my life forever, which are disgusting to think about now. My friend and I sometimes remember this “living one day at a time,” sometimes we’re sad, but more often we smile. “Ah.” Do you remember how carefree everything was?” Yes, I remember. But now I’m much more comfortable with thinking about the future and making plans. In that period of life everything was hectic and quickly passing, but now it’s smooth and capable of staying afloat for a long time. Although now I’ve begun to notice in myself that if something happens to me... sometimes it makes me very happy, I’m in a great mood (I really love everyone), then the famous phrase immediately pops into my head: “This too will pass,” and this makes me so sad, sad, and I moderate my happiness...

19/11/05, Nikitoska
This is how I begin to live from today. Because time is running out. Because today I am strong and I OWE him more than anyone else, I won’t cry anymore, I won’t whine, otherwise I won’t be able to do anything. Now it will come and it will begin, I don’t know what, but something will definitely happen, I really want to hope for the good... but for some reason I don’t)))

21/01/06, psychologue
How else? You don’t know what will happen to you half an hour later, let alone tomorrow. This is the lot of boring, scrupulous adults planning the family budget and cleaning the house for the weekend. Well, or businessmen, diplomats, politicians, entering meetings in an electronic notebook or pocket computer. And we? We are young and beautiful. Let them be touched by our carelessness. I implore you, who are doing essays and coursework in advance, handing in assignments for the month in a week, be more free. Let the wind blow over your head. Society will depend on people like you, and we will be responsible for your creative part. It’s too early for us to be slaves to fleeting time.

18/08/06, Pink Panther
I can not do that. But I always wanted to learn. I think it's great to live one day at a time. Live and don't worry. Live and be happy. Maybe it’s not given to me. Sometimes there is such a day that there is no time to think, to be sad, you just live, and most importantly, you feel life. But this rarely happens. It's a pity. On days like these you are happy and nothing bothers you.

09/11/06, Andy
Life is truly empty, it is like a coloring book, and it’s up to the person what he comes up with and how he colors it.. But all these efforts are delusional and meaningless, they are doomed to failure... Live one day at a time - enjoy every moment -that's what we can do... All this can end at any second, so we need to rejoice no matter what. That's the only thing that makes any sense.

03/11/11, I am Unknown
At times I live like this too, but then I have to remember about business and responsibility. I have always envied (in a good way) people who can live like this forever!

18/09/12, Blyova
When I lived with hopes for a bright future, everything good always passed me by... as soon as I let everything go from my life, indifference to everything came and the decision was made to live one day at a time. Enjoy life here and now, don’t think about what will happen tomorrow and solve problems here and now and immediately let them go and not keep anything inside. Immediately life got better, it became easier to breathe... Everything good and bad goes away, you just need to understand that no one knows what will happen tomorrow and try to let go of the negative from yourself and keep positive emotions. Enjoy life and life will rejoice with you. Good luck!

In it, young people celebrated something, communicated and generally had a great time at a party on the roof. At the end, the advertisement led to the company’s slogan: “Live here and now.” All this seemed like a call for a carefree life - that is, to get instant pleasure without paying attention to future consequences.

Such commercials influenced me for a long time in such a way that I thought that I only had one day to live. – this is bad. I thought Christians were supposed to be future-oriented through death into eternity, right? Moreover, I have come to realize that the church reinforces this mindset by filling sermons with encouragements to “follow your dreams” and that “your best days are yet to come.” Simply put, I had never heard in church about this “live here and now” view of life.

Until recently.

You see, live here and now, and live wildly – not necessarily the same thing. In a secular society, it is believed that “if I live for today, I will just pretend that I don’t have to deal with the consequences of my decisions.”

But that's not true. After all, if we pay more attention to today, won't people try to make better decisions? A person who is only focused on the future neglects the importance of small everyday actions and thus does not intentionally damage his future. He's sawing the branch he's sitting on!

About this K.S. Lewis says in his book " Just Christianity":

“A more Christian attitude, which can be achieved at any age, is to place the future in God’s hands. God will certainly preserve it... do not put off your virtue or your happiness for the future. A happy job will best be achieved by a person who takes his long-term plans somewhat lightly and works from time to time “as for the Lord.” We are called to ask only for our daily bread. The present is the only time when any obligation can be fulfilled or any grace received.”

Living today is all we can do. We cannot live and act tomorrow because we only exist today. We have no control over tomorrow, and we never will. Duties can be accomplished and grace can only be received today, in this moment.

We have been given today. That's all.

After I internalized this reality, I calmed down, but this was followed by internal condemnation. For the first time, I felt that I didn’t have to endlessly strive for tomorrow to happen the way I hoped. I often froze, like a deer caught in headlights, thinking deeply about my future. It was stressful. That's why I felt judged. I finally realized that the reason I emphasized tomorrow so much was because of my pride and control.

I needed to be in control of my future because of course I was the one who knew what would be best, not God. I couldn't completely let go of my hopes for tomorrow and put them in His hands. I was worried about many questions: what if He doesn’t come? Or worse, what if His plans are not what I want, what if they are not my plans?

But as Jeremiah reminds us, God’s plans are good! Plans for “hope and future.”

I also realized that I made the future my idol. Frequent dreams of this wonderful life permeated my thoughts. It's about to happen. Surely. That's what I thought to myself. I just need to quickly run through this period of time so I can get my future. Once I'm there in my wonderful life, I'll be happy. I didn't realize it was an idol. I did what Lewis warned me about: I gave my virtue and happiness to the future.

How often have I neglected the small joys and blessings of everyday life because I was too quick to get them. Little did I know the irony that by receiving these intermediate blessings, the future would take care of itself. It won't work, despite the slower, more immediate life. By accepting today, receiving and giving all you have, you will undoubtedly set yourself up for a better tomorrow.

No wonder. Jesus Himself shared this simple principle of healthy living:

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things; each day’s own troubles are enough.”

So just release your mortal grip on life and give it to God.

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You can certainly think, hope and even plan about tomorrow. Surely you need to pray for him. But, nevertheless, it is given to us today. That's all we have. We are given this moment and it is our duty to live in a way that honors God. And He will handle the rest.

Seize the moment!

Original: Michael D. Giammarino, Relevantmagazine.com
Translation: Victoria Shirchenko, for emmanuil.tv

If billionaire Peter Thiel is going to hire someone for a job, his signature question to the applicant for the coveted job looks like this: “Name a truth that is important to you that others do not agree with.” Almost a hundred years ago, writer Mark Twain spoke on this topic: “Think whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority.”

What's bad about living one day at a time?

Most of the newly-minted “gurus” who motivate people to achieve accomplishments and financial well-being give their wards the same advice: you need to live one day at a time, and do only what brings you pleasure right now. This theory has a right to exist, it is reasonable and somewhat logical, but it often does not work in the real world. In many cases, living one day only destroys people. One moment is a swift moment; it does not exist independently of the past and the future. This is why adherents of this theory so often make impulsive decisions. As a result, families break up, health deteriorates, and some people accumulate debts.

Arrow of Time

Instead, it is necessary to consider the moment in time lasting now as a continuation of one line. We must look back, remembering the best moments. Time is fleeting and the present moment is elusive. When we concentrate on the present moment, it already becomes the past.

What is the indicator of current success?

Looking back, many of us will find a lot of mistakes and reasons for dissatisfaction. And the recent past is still fresh in memory. Let us tell you a secret: what you did a few days ago is a clear indicator of your current success. Today is a day that tomorrow will become yesterday. You live today so that tomorrow you will have something to remember. That is why you need to live with an eye to the past, ensuring your future. What you do right now models your future success.

Existence for the sake of the past

This theory reflects how you exist in the present. When you live one day at a time, all your actions are dictated by impulses. In this case, behavior becomes a product of circumstances, but not a conscious choice. As a result, so many wrong decisions are formed... If you begin to rely on memories, on your positive and negative experiences, your actions become more conscious.

Memories of experiences are more important than feelings

It may sound a little strange, but a person's memories of past experiences are more important than the experiences themselves. The moments we spend with family, children and loved ones cannot last forever. A day passes, vacation ends, and a new year begins. The children have grown up and now have their own lives. What's left but the photographs that capture the most amazing moments? Memories of those days do not go away, they are etched into the memory, in fact, being an invaluable experience.

How to learn to form decisions

Memories from the past contain a lot of information. In order to make the right decision, it is necessary to turn off the impulses. In essence, our life is a story that we write ourselves. At the moment, the pen prints letters that form words, and words give rise to sentences. If you compare one day with the chapter of an entire book, then it is not even a letter or a word, it is just an ink mark. One thing man knows for sure: while he is alive, he cannot stop the pen. It's time to take control of your destiny and start consciously writing chapters in this book!

Confidence in the present

The past determines the confidence in the present. So, for example, if you have a great morning, you will probably have a great rest of the day. Why is this happening? Based on recent memories, you have intentionally programmed yourself for success. What we remember about our recent past (yesterday, week or month), our feeling from what we experienced, largely determines our confidence in the present. Thus, by living every moment from the point of view of the past, you accumulate memories and feel proud of your actions. This information is truly priceless, and success develops in a spiral.

How to model an ideal future

Stephen Covey, in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, suggested modeling the present by starting the countdown from your 80th birthday. A person needs to imagine how loved ones, relatives, children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren gathered for this venerable anniversary. How they express their feelings, what words they say. What they say about the life of the hero of the day, how they talk about his character, what his main achievements are remembered, what influence this person had on the life of the family. This is a systematic approach to defining global goals. It allows you to maximize the full potential inherent in a person and set the necessary priorities.

Living one day does not allow one to comprehend the holistic nature of time

Time is an arrow with three components (past, present and future). Those who live only one day concentrate only on a point located on a huge extended scale. Such people fail to comprehend the holistic nature of time. All three components do not exist independently on the timeline; they are strongly interconnected with each other. When you live from the experience of the past, you consciously model an ideal future while existing in the present.

You can have any future you want. But more importantly, you have a unique chance to have the past you deserve. All together this forms pride in one’s own actions and deeds.

Conclusion

A life that draws on the experiences of the past provides the opportunity for better choices. It's easy to justify bad decisions that were made impulsively. It's easy to break commitments given to someone, easy to yell at children, not to control your anger and give in to temptations. It is more difficult to save rather than spend, or to fight for what you believe in. It's very difficult to improve yourself and be consistent. It is more difficult to get up when you want to sleep or work, while others are having fun at this time. Eventually you will learn to want to do the hard but right things just because they have to.

Probably, all people can be divided into two fundamentally different categories of attitude to life: those who consider life within the framework of one day, and those who are engaged in careful and long-term planning.

Which of them is more right and successful in their life positions?

“Do you have a plan, Mr. Fix? - Do I have a plan? Do I have a plan? Yes, I have three plans!”

I am a bright representative of the planning category of the population. Almost everything is subject to planning for me - from the most ordinary day to the upbringing and development of a child.

I write down on paper a detailed plan for spending upcoming income, make a list of groceries before going to the store or market. I’m thinking ahead about what I’ll cook in the next couple of days.

If there is even a small event coming up, I plan its organization in advance. Separately - what needs to be bought, separately - what and when to do. And so it is in everything.


I consider the advantage of this position to be that it is difficult for me to be caught off guard by some unforeseen nuances. On weekdays this provides stable comfort and coziness, on holidays - an unspoiled mood and maximum pleasure.

I think my family, from this point of view, is easy with me, because you can rely on me - I will always think about the well-being of tomorrow.

Of course, there are disadvantages to life planning, and not small ones. Firstly, moral fatigue often accumulates from endless thinking and systematization. But you can’t throw off the burden of worries about the future, because it seems that otherwise it, the future, will simply collapse without your control.

Secondly, it is impossible to predict everything down to the smallest detail, but you want everything to be in accordance with the plan. Therefore, any deviation from the plan is perceived as a defeat.

“... and then - at least the grass won’t grow!”

Sometimes I even envy these carefree people who can live for today. My husband is one of them. I won’t say, of course, that he doesn’t make plans at all and doesn’t think about anything in advance, but basically he focuses on the “here and now.”

Sometimes he can do something with excessive care, if today it is his business. And sometimes it’s not very responsible, but it will only appear tomorrow, and therefore he doesn’t care.

He brushes off all my worries and warnings: “Let’s solve problems as they arise!” And it often turns out to be right - the energy and effort that I spend on searching for difficulties that have not yet arisen can be completely in vain.

Often he can arrange a real holiday for the whole family only because it turns out to be sudden and delights with surprise.

But in matters of wasting money, I think the principle “if only it’s good today” is not at all correct, especially when it comes to the family budget, and even more so when there are children in the family.

Perhaps it is good that my husband and I are so different in our worldview, because we complement each other and do not allow us to go to extremes. However, very often this also becomes a reason for quarrels.

By what principle do you live? And do you find a middle ground between planning and living one day at a time?

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