How to make sure you need it. How to persuade a person: rules and methods of persuasion

Today I will continue to consider the art of persuasion and I'll tell you about how to convince someone you are right how to persuade other people to your point of view. The art of persuasion can be attributed to sufficient importance, necessary for success. This can be useful in any area of ​​human life, but especially in business or work related to sales.

In one of the previous articles, I already considered the general ones, but it should be recognized that each person is individual, and the method that will help persuade one person to his point of view will not have any effect or even harm when communicating with another. This is explained by the fact that different people have their own psychological characteristics, depending on the type of their character and temperament. Therefore, today we will talk about how to convince a person of his point of view, based on his psychological characteristics.

To do this, first of all, we will need to divide people into different psychological types. Most often, psychologists use the temperament of a person as a criterion for such a division, but, in this case, this may not be enough, since it is important for us to divide people according to the type of reaction to attempts to convince them. I propose to distinguish 4 types of people according to these criteria:

- Always confident in his rightness, unbending;

- Doubting, indecisive;

- Showing aggression, easily excitable;

- Indifferent and indifferent.

The main task of the art of persuasion is to correctly determine the type of person who needs to be convinced of his point of view, and then act taking into account his psychological characteristics.

Consider how to behave with people of each of these psychological types in order to convince them that you are right.

1. Confident. Convincing a person who is confident in his rightness and is not inclined to change his mind is the most difficult thing. Such people immediately make it clear what they need, they speak in short and firm phrases, express their position directly and openly. However, there is a method that will help win over even such people.

Excessive confidence and inflexibility can be a reflection not only of strength, but, conversely, of weakness of character. Especially if it is self-confidence, which is observed very often.

In this case, the best way to persuade a person to your point of view is to take him “on the loose”. To do this, it is enough to make it clear that you have doubts that he will be able to do something that you need.

For example, if you want to make a sale to such a person, you can tell him something like: “in general, it will probably be too expensive for you, we can find cheaper options.” Then ostentatious determination will play in him, he will answer that he can easily afford to buy goods at such a price and, as proof of his innocence, will make a purchase.

2. Indecisive. It is easiest to convince an indecisive and doubting person of his innocence. You can easily get verbal superiority over him and persuade him to your point of view. But the difficulty here lies elsewhere: first you need to recognize this type, because if you make a mistake and start acting in this way with a person of a different psychological type, then you will fail. Therefore, if you do not know how to convince a person of your point of view, you should immediately try to identify his indecision. How can I do that?

For example, according to the verbal expressions that he will use. An indecisive and doubting person will use the same fuzzy and imprecise expressions. For example, when making a purchase, he will ask for “something not very expensive” instead of “cheap”, or “something not very bright” instead of naming a specific color, will use the words “a little”, “more or less” , “like”, “somehow”, etc., characterizing uncertainty. His gestures and facial expressions will also express doubt and uncertainty, for example, he will stagnate, fiddle with his clothes, weave and fiddle with his fingers, etc.

Little secrets that will ensure a pleasant change in your relationships with people

Everyone wants to be able to manage the world - or at least those who are nearby and on whom our success depends. However, not everyone succeeds. Psychologists say that it is enough to use basic techniques in everyday life that help to influence people in a certain way. The main thing here is to feel the person. And yet - training is important so that everything happens as if by itself, without tension.

The Benjamin Franklin Effect - Kindness Returns

famous American politician Benjamin Franklin, trying to get the location of a person who treated him negatively, simply did a good deed for him - he borrowed a very valuable and rare book that he had been looking for for a long time. As a result, the man was imbued with good feelings for Franklin. The one for whom you have done good is ready to return even more kindness - this is Franklin's law.

Ask for more!

If you ask a friend for a hundred thousand loans, he is unlikely to fork out so easily. But this request will set him up perfectly the way you need, and when, some time after the refusal, he himself finds you and offers thirty or fifty thousand - know: the trick worked! The person, having refused, felt guilty and wanted to “correct”. Therefore, always overestimate your requirements and requests.

The name of a person is a magic key

This is an old and very famous trick - I wrote about it Dale Carnegie but it really works! For each person, the most desirable and pleasant sound in the world is their own name, which is pronounced in a positive context. When talking to someone, try to address them by their first name more often. It is also desirable to smile at the same time - and half the success is in your pocket.

sincere flattery

Yes, flattery can also be sincere. So that it does not look rude and unreasonable, take a closer look at the person, try to determine who is in front of you. Any compliments can be said to an interlocutor with high self-esteem - they will only confirm his own opinion of himself, and you will automatically become a pleasant person for him. But someone who evaluates himself quite low will take your flattery with distrust - and this is the easiest way to lose his favor. In this case, you need to play a more subtle game.

Become a "mirror"

When talking with a person, try to unobtrusively repeat his gestures, facial expressions, behavior. Just not “on the forehead” - let your manners become similar, but not exactly the same as his. A well-known human feature is to treat well those who are similar to themselves. So, becoming a “mirror” for a while, you will win sympathy, and it will be easier to achieve something from this person. The reason is the same as in the case of the repetition of the name: the interlocutor is once again convinced that he exists and, moreover, that the fact of his existence is pleasant for others.

Be the "echo"

The principle is the same as in the previous technique. It is always pleasant for a person to hear how the interlocutor repeats his words and whole phrases, as if confirming his correctness and demonstrating that he listens carefully and attaches great importance to his words.

You need to ask from someone who is tired

An active, active person is unlikely to respond to your request. But if you turn to a tired person - most likely, looking at you through the prism of his own fatigue and desire to rest, he will agree with the request. For example, approaching a tired boss in the evening with a request to let you go early and promising that you will finish work tomorrow morning, most likely you will hear an agreement. Moreover, by keeping your promise and delivering the work on time, you will earn the respect of the boss.

Don't point people out to their mistakes!

Even if they are clearly wrong. Even if the error is quite serious and no one except you noticed it. The only thing you will achieve is to become an enemy for a person. Graduality is needed to change his point of view and force him to correct the mistake. Agree with him no matter what he says. And then carefully, slowly, begin the subtle work of changing his point of view.

Just nod

Nodding throughout the conversation should convince the interlocutor that you agree with him, that you approve of him, what he says, which means that you treat him with sympathy and approval. A gesture as simple as nodding will later help you convince the other person that you are right.

Learn to listen

When a person only pretends to listen, while he himself is busy with his own thoughts, this is immediately evident. Such people do not want to tell anything, they do not believe, they do not cause sympathy. But if you try to sincerely delve into what they tell you, try to "try on" the situation, agree - at least at the beginning - you will immediately arouse both trust and a desire to assist. You may have to make an effort on yourself first. But if you manage to actually become interested, and not just pretend to be interested, then you can then convince anyone of your rightness.

Participation in negotiations often turns into serious stress for people, so few people can be guided solely by reason when discussing important fundamental issues, especially when, on the other hand, a skilled manipulator is involved in the negotiations, using your own emotions against you. Here are a few tricks of professional negotiators, with which you can win over the interlocutor and even impose on him some conditions that are beneficial exclusively to you.

1. State your terms first

Many psychologists recommend applicants for any position not to mention the desired salary at the interview, and at the first contacts with the employer it is really better to refrain from this, focusing on your business qualities. But if you see that the decision is in your favor, you should take the initiative and be the first to name the terms of cooperation - the so-called anchoring effect will work: the amount you indicate will open up space for bargaining and become the starting point for discussing other details. A recent study shows that even if the salary required by the applicant is clearly too high, but the candidate for the position is the first to name his conditions, the employer is more willing to make concessions.

When the interlocutor himself is the first to indicate the price, but it does not suit you, draw a conclusion: most likely he is familiar with the anchoring effect and is trying to manipulate you, or does not count on further cooperation at all. In this case, go on a counterattack - you can say that the announced amount is not serious and such proposals offend you, after which the interlocutor will be forced to stop the conversation, or listen to your conditions.

2. Change the subject

Negotiators almost never get hung up on a single subject of discussion and change of topic - perhaps the most common technique used in negotiations, especially if different details need to be discussed, or they concern several people. When negotiations reach an impasse or take a direction that is unfavorable for one of the parties, it is more effective for negotiators to put aside one issue and switch to another.

For example, let's take a deal to sell a car on credit - the parties need to agree on the price of the car, the down payment, the monthly payment and the ability to repay part of the amount at the expense of the old car buyer. If any of the points of discussion raises doubts among the buyer and negotiations “slip”, the seller may offer to discuss the next issue - in this case, the client will forget about the problem for a while. For example, if the buyer does not like the total price, the seller needs to figure out how much the client can deposit immediately and how much he is willing to pay each month, thinking about these numbers, he will become more accommodating. The deeper the interlocutor plunges into the negotiations, the higher his desire to make a deal.

If you yourself are faced with the fact that the interlocutor is trying to make you forget about unfavorable conditions by switching attention to other topics, do not let him get away from the problem, but do not try to talk about benefits ahead of time (for example, the possibility of transferring an old car as a partial paying off the cost of a new one, in the example of buying a car) that you are trying to achieve - negotiations are most likely to fail.

3. Define an imaginary problem

This tactic involves a shift in the focus of negotiations, in which one of the parties designates a secondary issue as fundamentally important. This makes it possible to make “concessions”, which the interlocutor perceives as a “noble gesture” and the achievement of success in the discussion, while he himself is more willing to meet.

It is quite easy to counter false concessions of the interlocutor - in the end, you can always forget about the interests of the interlocutor, imaginary or real compromises and be guided only by your own benefit, but practice shows that this method will rather lead to the collapse of the discussion.

If you want to be sure that the negotiator is not manipulating you, creating false problems and triumphantly “solving” them, it is worth analyzing his position in detail and trying to understand what the interlocutor is really ready to sacrifice, and what he uses only as a counterfeit bargaining chip.

4. Appeal to higher authorities

One of the effective ways to turn the course of negotiations in your favor is also an appeal to higher authorities - in other words, if you feel that the conditions imposed on you are not beneficial, declare that you do not have full authority and should discuss everything with management. In particular, this classic technique performed by actor William Macy (can be seen in the black humor comedy Fargo, released in 1996.

Using this technique, you can kill two birds with one stone: firstly, negotiations on the merits are suspended and the other side can compromise to resume them, and secondly, in this way you save face, making it clear to the interlocutor that the problem is not in you.

If such tactics are used against you, it makes sense to demand a meeting with a superior person who has the competence to resolve the differences that have arisen. Remember that the side that has the most patience is most likely to succeed in negotiations, so try to make the interlocutor want to end the fruitless debate as soon as possible.

5. Calculate your best alternative

There is always a risk that the negotiations will finally and irrevocably reach an impasse, so you should have a so-called best alternative agreement (BAAA). If you are accurately aware of your LAVS, then you immediately understand whether the deal will be profitable or not, and you can quickly navigate. It is also not bad if you try to find out the LAWS of the interlocutor in order to understand what conditions he is ready to accept. Knowing exactly the best alternatives is one of the keys to negotiating.

For example, you need to sell a state-of-the-art jet aircraft and you have several potential buyers. If the terms of the transaction do not suit one client, contact another, and so on, until you are called an acceptable price comparable to the market average. In this case, your LAVS is the same average market price minus the time that you may have to spend on negotiations with several buyers (after all, as you know, time is money).

If there is a suspicion that the other party in negotiations with you intends to use this trick (most often it happens), prepare for the meeting properly - collect information about the client, familiarize yourself with the market situation, and already during the negotiation of the terms of the transaction, try to to find out in detail the possibilities and aspirations of the interlocutor and try not to reveal your cards ahead of time.

6. "Last Bite"

When the negotiation is almost over, one of the parties may suddenly return to any of the subjects of discussion and try to add "one more small condition" - this technique is called the "last bite". Thus, the patience of the other side and its willingness to make concessions are tested in order to quickly complete the protracted discussion.

If you are offered to add “a mere trifle” to the contract and finally end the discussion, then the deal, even without an additional condition, is much better than the interlocutor’s LAVS, and the “mere trifle” is nothing more than manipulation. You can safely refuse to conclude an agreement with an additional condition - most likely, the other side will still correct its position and cross out the condition set at the last moment.

How can you persuade a person? This question is asked by many people who want to learn how to defend their point of view. To convince the interlocutor of something can sometimes seem an extremely difficult task, which is incomparable with other efforts. The fact is that each individual has his own opinion on a particular issue. In order to be able to convey the necessary information to him, it is necessary to update internal forces as much as possible. How to do it right? What work is worth doing? Let's try to understand this difficult issue.

Reflection reception

It consists in arousing the maximum degree of confidence in the opponent. This is the best way to gently and painlessly influence the situation. Reception of reflection works in all cases when there is a desire to influence the situation. How to persuade a person?

You just need to try to speak his language. This is the best way to build trust. If you oppose your beliefs to your opponent, then this is unlikely to lead to a satisfactory result. It is necessary to proceed carefully, trying not to go too far. All hypocrisy should be avoided, as it never leads to the desired goal.

To speak fast

The pace of speech also matters. This is not surprising, since people subconsciously take into account this moment in a conversation. If you speak quickly, without stretching the phrase, then the person will begin to listen more carefully to your words. A short jerky speech helps to increase the concentration of attention, has a positive effect on the individual.

If the subject of the conversation concerns some important things, then it becomes much easier to convince a person of something. Rapid speech causes the person to drop their thoughts and seriously focus on what is being said.

soft questions

After thinking about how to properly persuade a person, make a decision to act unobtrusively. You can ask the interlocutor soft questions that will prepare the opponent for a certain decision. It is best to try not to climb into the soul right away, but to learn about everything gradually. Questions that require an affirmative answer work very well.

compliments

How to persuade a person to do something? It is necessary to praise his personal qualities. Saying nice words is a must. So people relax and allow to direct the conversation in the right direction. In this case, you don’t need to be embarrassed to pronounce laudatory words: there are never many of them. Compliments are necessary in order to get closer to the very essence of a person. If an individual lets you get so close, then, most likely, he will be able to persuade him to certain actions.

Any praise almost always works flawlessly. The main thing is that the words should be spoken with the necessary sincerity. Falsehood is felt immediately, and a wise person is unlikely to respond to it. Deception destroys any relationship and contributes to the formation of spiritual coldness and rejection. Everyone wants to feel important and self-sufficient. For this reason, one should try to act gently, with patience.

Good mood

A smile is known to be disarming like nothing else. When we share part of our energy with people, we get visible benefits in return. That is why it is so important to be able to keep a good mood and stay positive.

Try to control your own emotions, do not allow conflict situations to arise against the background of rejection of some moments. How to persuade a person? It is necessary to sincerely smile at him, strive to demonstrate a good disposition towards him. Only in this case, the opponent will begin to trust you.

Useful business

When we do something good for the interlocutor, he begins to feel gratitude. A useful deed forms a reason for a person to start listening to your words. The feeling of gratitude brings people together. And only then you can use this feeling to try to bring him to a certain decision. But first, you should always try to give something important to the interlocutor. Only in this case, he will listen to your words and, perhaps, change his mind.

Benefits of the offer

If there is an intention to lead the individual to some kind of decision, then you need to show the positive aspects of cooperation. It is necessary to demonstrate the full benefit of the offer, so much so that it is impossible to refuse it. A person may agree only because he will be interested in getting to know the visible advantages. If a person does not find anything beneficial for himself, then he is unlikely to delve into the details at all.

Nice appearance

People always pay attention to this, although sometimes they try to pretend that they are not interested in appearance. Thinking about how to persuade a person, you need to take care of your appearance. Nobody likes talking to a slut in a greasy jacket. Attractive appearance is very conducive to itself, contributes to the formation of trust. After the desired impression has arisen, you can submit any information. Charm is of great importance, it literally attracts people to itself.

older people

How to persuade an older person? It is important to follow a few rules here. First, you should not try to force your position on them too actively. This will only cause rejection and further rejection. Second, you need to be prepared to fail.

Older people are quite suspicious and will not want to waste time on something that will not be useful to them in the long run. It is necessary to present the proposal in such a way that it seems not only right, but also sounds quite noble. A person who has lived for many years in the world is very scrupulous about such concepts as honor and dignity. If you deceive him and do not keep this promise, he will stop believing in you completely.

Thus, in the question of how to persuade a person, one must be careful and adhere to common sense. It is necessary to act confidently and at the same time unobtrusively. Of great importance is the mood of the interlocutor and his willingness to accept offers from you.

Is it possible to persuade the teacher to agree with everything you say if you did not study for the exam? Can! In psychology, there is even a whole section covering the ability to convince a person.

Our "mole" was a professor of psychology, who at one time worked as an FBI agent for a long time. Taking part in numerous covert operations, he often had to pry information from even the most famous silent people.

The main rule to follow when achieving the goal of “How to persuade anyone” is this: make your opponent like yourself.

Step One: Intentionally Make a Mistake

During a conversation, an experienced speaker allows himself, as if by chance, to make a small mistake. This may be a mistake in pronunciation, incorrectly used in the meaning of the word, and so on.

The point is to get the listener to correct you. He then feigns slight embarrassment, thanks the listeners for the correction, and then speaks with the corrections in mind.

But be careful - your mistakes should not relate directly to the material on which you are answering.

This is done with three main goals:

1. When the listener corrects the speaker (in our case, the teacher corrects the student), this gives him the opportunity to feel more confident.
2. This allows the teacher to communicate with the student more freely.
3. This gives the teacher the opportunity not to be afraid to make mistakes himself and lulls his own vigilance.

Step two: lavish third-person compliments

How to win over a person and persuade him to do something? Of course, start complimenting him!

It has its own rules and subtleties. For example, a student should in no case make direct compliments, otherwise it will be regarded as undisguised flattery. In addition, some people are simply not ready to accept direct compliments and begin to experience discomfort.

In this case, compliments from a third person are great: mention, as if by chance, that you communicated with students of previous courses, and they are sure that it is this teacher (our hero) who teaches his material more fully and accessible than all the other teachers of the course .

By the way! For our readers there is now a 10% discount on

Step three: express sincere sympathy

Do you want to know one of the main secrets of how to learn to persuade people? Show them your sympathy. People have always been interested in their own person much more than everyone else. And it's natural.

If you show a genuine interest in people, you will not only be able to make many friends and acquaintances, but also win the sympathy of teachers.

Your task: to find the optimal sympathetic statement, which will be the absolute truth. For example, on the day of the exam, let the teacher know that you perfectly understand what a difficult day he is having today. The person should feel not pity on your part, but support.

It becomes incredibly pleasant for any person when they not only listen to him carefully, but also share his emotions with him.

Step Four: Get the Interlocutor to Praise Himself

Remember: there is a rather thin line between flattery and a compliment, so it's best not to cross it. And even better - make your interlocutor begin to praise himself.

Here is an example of a good conversation:

- During the last session, I took the exam from the same group 7 times!

-Wow! You need to have nerves of steel and incredible endurance to listen to the same thing for 7 days from the same people!

- (probable answer we need to achieve) Yes, I had to try not to go crazy. Of course, I did a great job and all the students passed the exam.

Step Five: Ask for a Favor

Make a person help you - and he will do it again and again, and with genuine pleasure! When a person gives someone a favor, he feels his own growing importance not only for others, but also for himself.

However, this method should not be abused: the service you are asking for should be small, insignificant.

Now you know how to persuade a person to do something. None of this advice fits the definition of hypocrisy, so everything is legal and quite moral. A little cunning, charm and valuable information on the methodology of the special services - and you will succeed. And if it does not work out, then we are ready to provide at any time